Leaving the Light By: Christine Schnell

Chapter 34 It's a statistical fact that six months after marriage couples tend to have doubts about the marriage, about their partner and the direction of their life in general. I didn't need Keir's revelation to give me doubts about my relationship with Bram. I was already having them. He just amplified my thoughts. "Toni, you can trust me. I won't hurt you." Bram pleaded. "I know, but what about the others you have hurt?" He was hesitant to talk about it and fingered the murals on the walls as we passed. "I told you I can't control that." "Exactly Bram. How can I have double standards for you? Kama killed and I severed all ties with her." "You've been considering renewing your friendship with her." How did he...? Of course he knew, he's probably monitored me as much as Keir. "Yes, but I don't think I will now." "You can't shun every one of us, we've each killed someone." "No, but I will not let myself become involved with any of you. I made a mistake by getting personal. I won't make that mistake any longer. I'll still serve if I must and that is all." We had walked into the slave court and my nose filled with the wonderful scent of baking bread. "Now if you'll excuse me I have one more denied whim to indulge." I walked to the kitchen and didn't look back to see if he followed. I knew he hadn't. It's not because Bram's a killer, though I can't ignore that fact. I had wondered on and off if Bram really was the right man for me. Were his intentions as pure as he seemed to make them? Worst of all the question kept popping into my head; Do I really love him? Since I had no wish to be with him at that time I was certain the answer was no. A small part of me argued that I still had feelings for him. I chose to ignore them. The meal was large. While I stuffed myself on all varieties of food I forgot Bram. I could think of only one thing; my freedom. I was ecstatic to be out, certainly. It just wasn't enough. I didn't think I could live this close to people I had grown to loathe. What I had told Bram wasn't a lie. I'd serve if I had to, I just wanted to make sure I absolutely had to. Was freedom really an option or just an illusion? I know they monitored me. Hell I could even feel a presence in the room despite being off in a corner by myself. I should forget about it for now. Total freedom probably wasn't possible anyway. For some reason I just couldn't give up the idea, not then and still not to this day. For the time being I let it go and finished my meal. After I finished eating, I found Al again. He was folding towels by himself so I lent him a hand. Al watched me curiously. "You gave me quite a fright earlier. I was afraid you hadn't learnt anything with Keir and was purposely trying to drown yourself." I scoffed, "The only thing I learned was how to keep Keir from killing me." I stole a glance at him and saw he was still concerned. "I'm okay Al, really." "Is everything okay with Bram?" I stopped mid-fold. "I broke it off with him." Al stopped too and tried to look me in the face. I was too busy staring at my hands to let him. "Why?" "You don't know?" "Know what?" "Bram's a fierce murderer." "Oh." He went back to folding. "You knew?" "Yes, a few of us know, not many. I didn't know that he never told you. Especially with all that's happened." "Why didn't you tell me?" "Believe me kiddo, I would have if it were up to me." "Thanks Al." This conversation brought to mind the multitude of faces Bram showed me. One stuck a bit more than the others. "Al, I once asked you about Dr. Wendel and the person that he couldn't help. I think I saw her in Bram's mind. She was in her late twenties or so, short black hair, shallow cheeks. Dr. Wendel was leaning over her and I would have sworn he was crying. Who was she?" "You 'saw' her? I thought you could just talk-" "Please don't change the subject." He sighed. "Why do I always get the heavy ones?" "Because you like me and are the only one who will answer them." He hesitated again but he was no match for my penetrating stare. "She was his wife." "Bram killed-" Al nodded, "Apparently so. I didn't think it was him but if you saw it then it must be true." "Oh poor Dr. Wendel. Do you know how?" "Not really. It was outside. Many years ago." He paused thinking for a moment while folding a few more towels. "Don't talk to Dr. Wendel about this. I don't think he knows who killed her." "He should know!" "Kiddo, sometimes it's better to not have certain knowledge, don't you think?" "I'm glad to have the knowledge I have." "Even if it means being miserable?" "It's not a new concept to me." A thought crossed my mind and I saw an opportunity to gather more information. "Besides it won't matter once I'm out of here." "Escape? Not likely." "You've been in and out of this place many times. You can't tell me you don't know how to get out of here." "You can't escape Kiddo, it's just not possible. Even if you managed to get out of the building, there's no where you can run that they can't find you." So freedom was just an illusion? I wouldn't accept it. "I'm just one person Al. Why should they go through so much trouble over me? Okay, so they think I'm special or something. I don't know why and I don't care anymore. I just want out of here. They've hurt me for the last time." Al shook his head. "You don't know what it's like, what they'll do to you if you try to escape." "I've already tried, you know that. They haven't done anything to me." "That's because you haven't really tried. Kiddo, I'm not going to help you for your own good." I read in-between the lines. "You've tried?" "I haven't always been complacent here." He wasn't going to get off with a simple answer like that. "I thought falling in love changed all that for you?" "I didn't fall in love until many years later." He seemed to be off in another world. He shrugged and tried to fill in the silence that had come between us. "I had a daughter once." He spoke as if he had just answered a question. While I cared about Al I didn't really see where this was leading. I didn't want to ask him about her. I began wondering yet again why people always confided in me. "We all had a family at one time." He wasn't put off by my response at all. "You asked me once why I called you Kiddo. It's just that you remind me very much of her, I always called her Kiddo, even after she got married and had kids of her own." A single tear rolled down his cheek. This was the most sad I've ever seen this blithe man. I couldn't help feeling bad for him. I could tell there was great loss there. "Al, what happened?" He was reluctant. I wanted to urge him on but I knew I shouldn't push him, he would tell me in his own way and time. He gathered up his strength, patted my hand that I had placed sportingly on his shoulder and finally spoke. "The bastards kidnapped my daughter, right in front of me. We were driving down a rural road not too far from here. It was just her and me coming back from a father daughter dance, when my car conveniently got a flat. While I was taking care of the tire a couple of them had rushed the car. They already had the door open and were dragging her out before I knew what was happening. They disappeared off into the woods before I could even round the car. "I chased after them, but they were too far ahead and it was too dark. I managed to get back to the car fixed the tire and drove to the nearest phone to call the police. They called me crazy when I told them how fast the kidnappers had moved. "The police searched the forest. However, there was no sign of the kidnappers, not even a broken branch besides the ones I made. They filed her away, saying they would keep an eye out for her. They damn near ordered me a psychological evaluation for all the ranting and raving I was doing. Too bad they didn't, then all that might not have happened." "All what?" I prompted when he had stopped. He seemed more hesitant to tell me the next part of his story. "I was obsessed with finding her. My wife had died years before and she was the only thing I had. She was my jewel. I called her husband. Luckily, he didn't think I was crazy and he brought up some camping supplies. So we set out in separate directions to cover more ground. We both had walkie-talkies to keep in touch. We did for the first few days. Soon he was out of range and I ran out of extra batteries. I thought about turning back but I had found something. "It was just a barrette, could have been anybody's. I thought it looked like the one she had worn. I kept moving east and then I hit pay dirt two days later. It was a piece of her dress I was sure of it. It was all ratted and muddy but it was the same pattern. I couldn't call my son-in-law and I had no clue as to where I was. The map I had didn't cover this area. "I didn't care about either, I was renewed and excited so I pressed on. A day later I had been out of food for almost two days. I had just breached the crest of a hill on the outside of the forest, so you could imagine how excited I was to see the small town down in the valley. I ran all the way down hill in my soiled clothes straight into the first building I came to. Just my luck it was a library. I didn't care. I shoved the picture of my daughter into every person's face. Not one had seen her and not one offered any assistance at all. I ran out of there and into the bank next door. The guard nearly clobbered me when I ran in. He had to pin me down and keep me there until I calmed a little. By this time I guess the word got around the small town and the sheriff showed up. They had settled me in an office and given me food and water while I explained myself. "As soon as I mentioned the speed that the people had kidnapped her the Sheriff gave a sidelong glance to the couple people around the room. At the time I thought he was sharing a knowing glance thinking I was crazy, but after I finished talking he proved me wrong. He handed me another glass of water and said, 'I understand what you've been through, but you just forget about finding your daughter, there's no hope of getting her back.'" Al paused again to get a hold of himself. This was obviously a hard retelling for him. "I inquired as to why, and the sheriff just said 'Vamp's got her.' Then he stood and left. One of the girls in the bank got me situated into the only hotel. She explained that they would help me get back to the city tomorrow but I should stay in my room the whole night. I tried to get out of her more information, but she wouldn't talk. I stayed in my room the whole night, not really sure why. I wasn't afraid of anything, except for my daughter, and the Sheriff's deathly tone when he said 'Vamp's got her.' I wasn't even sure what that meant. I didn't correlate vamp with vampire. At worst I thought he was talking about a gang or something. "I stayed in my room, but I didn't sleep, not one wink, I just stared out the window at the spooky little town. No lights were on in any of the buildings down the main street. It was as if the town died after sundown. There was one building, however, that had lights on about half a mile from the edge of town. I couldn't see if there was anything special going on there, but it did make me curious. I watched as just before daybreak the lights in the town went on and the lights in that building went off, almost as if they were connected to the same switch inversely. I was curious. I packed up my things paid the bill at the desk and started walking in that direction. "I was almost out of town when an elderly gentleman, about as ragged looking as I felt then, stopped me with a warning, 'You don't want to go there.' "'Why not?' I demanded of him. "He didn't shrink back. 'Vamps live there.' "'Vamps?' I inquired. "'Vampires.' Well, cleared that up and I did hesitate. It would explain the strange inactivity in the town at night. I wasn't quite sure I believed him. He seemed sincere enough. The old codger saw he had struck a nerve. 'Heed my warning son. Those are some people you don't want to mess with.' "I heard him but I didn't listen, I was on a one way road. 'My daughter...' I muttered. "'She's gone, forget about her.' He said as he took my arm and tried to turn me back to the town. I wouldn't, couldn't let that happen. I broke from his weak grip and made a run for the building. He tried to trip me up with his walking stick. I flew over it without noticing. "It took me three minutes to reach the building; fastest I ever ran a half mile in my life. I burst through the doors without worrying or caring. I drew the gun that I had carried with me and moved slowly from there. Logically I knew a gun was no good against vampires but I wasn't thinking logically. The building was dark, the only light coming from the open door behind me. I moved cautiously forward. There was no one in sight as I moved several chambers inward and my eyes had begun to adjust to the dark, just in time for me to detect movement to my left. Distracted by that I had no idea I was about to be attacked on my right. "I awoke when my head was dunked several times into the stream and then I was pushed down in front of the King. 'Brave man.' He spoke casually while considering me. 'Come to take on our entire gens just to rescue your daughter. Very noble.' He didn't give me a chance to say anything. My head had hardly cleared for me even to understand what he was saying. 'Well, no need to worry about her, she is here, and in perfect health.' That, I did understand. I don't know how I did it, I gathered enough strength to rise and embrace her. She muttered something about it being wrong for me to try to save her. I didn't care. She was in my arms. 'How touching.' The King said in that mocking tone of his. Then to someone else he commanded. 'Take them both back to the servant's quarters. Make sure he understands what will be expected of him.' With that we were pushed back here and I became an unwilling servant of the vampires." There was a tone of finality to Al's voice but there were things left unanswered. "Unwilling? That doesn't sound like you." He shrugged again. "Well Kiddo, you've already experienced one reason to stay. Besides after you've been here as long as I have, you stop trying to escape and just accept this as a way of life." I nodded as I've only just begun to understand what he was talking about. "What about your daughter? Where is she?" He had been folding clothes while we talked and he stopped folding a shirt. It didn't look like he would resume anytime soon. "Oh, I'm sorry Al. I didn't mean-" "No." He stopped me with a wave and put the shirt down. "I've told you this much, I might as well finish the story. Besides there's a moral to it that you might learn from. My daughter and I were less than happy living here. We were a bit of trouble makers ourselves. Like I said, you're much like my daughter. In fact a couple of the things you tried, she had already found futile. After nearly a year of captivity, she had discovered a map of the entire building. She had superb mental control, so she was able to keep it a secret even from me for a couple of days while she planned our escape. "She had me unknowingly fashion a couple of spears out of some old firewood they had laying around. She had told me they were for the posts of a bed. That was just a cover for the vampires if they happened to read my mind. A week later she made me grab the spears and without a word dragged me through the halls running as fast as we could. At first we managed to keep out of sight and got all the way to the first set of doors. She took her spear and motioned to me to follow suite. I did and we rammed both of the guards at that door. She broke the spears in half knowing we'd encounter more trouble. We left the vampires in their unconscious state at the door. I was in a mad furry and didn't even know who they were until the next day. "We ran for our lives, after all that was exactly what it was. This was no game we were in, though I'm sure the vampires thought it was fun. We reached the second set of guards, but they were already on to us and we weren't quick enough with our weapons. I was thrown against the wall and knocked unconscious, but my daughter..." He stopped and made a cross over his heart. "May she rest in peace. She escaped all right, the same way you've tried, but she actually made it. They drained her on the spot. She put up a gallant fight from what I heard. She had broken a piece of glass and sliced one of the vampire's necks, almost took his head, but she wasn't that lucky. While she was doing that, the other one attacked her, made her suffer too. My poor, poor baby. My head was just clearing as she slumped to the ground. I rushed to her, but it was too late. There was nothing I could do except pray that God take care of her up there, for she couldn't be in hell, otherwise she'd still be here with us. "They dragged me back to the slave court without a fight. They just dropped me off here knowing I wouldn't give them any more trouble, and I never have. I complied after that, I didn't have any will anymore, I just did as I was told and tried to enjoy it. Then you came along, and you've given me hope once more. Not only of freedom, but for a better life for the slaves." "I haven't helped the slaves one bit." I protested. "No?" He asked in that simple way of his. "That Jukebox, and the pool table, how long did it take you to convince the vampires to bring them in? It took Dr. Norling two years, which included extensive testing and research, to convince the vampires that we needed workout equipment to maintain our stamina and health. Two months after we received the equipment they killed him and Dr. Wendel was brought in." "So? Bram's a little higher up on the hierarchy chart, that doesn't mean I have done anything special." "Not to mention the fact that you have helped our moral. I hear you're a very good listener and give decent to good advice." He smiled warming to the list he was making. A list I was just beginning to tire of. "Then there's all the equipment you've been helping to fix-" "All right Al. I get the picture. So I've helped here and there. I thought that's what us slaves were here for." "To help the vampires, yes, but not other slaves. What I'm trying to say is, you've improved our lives, given us a little hope. And even if you aren't here tomorrow, we'd still be better off than if you've never been here at all." I appreciated the sentiment. I really did, yet there was something else in that statement, and for that matter in his story, as if he was trying to tell me something. Then it hit me, "Who were the guards you stabbed." "Guess." "Keir?" "The same. He seems to have never forgiven me for it. He still thinks I might try it again. To tell the truth since you've come around he's gotten worse because you remind me of my daughter. Keir believes this might incite me to try to escape again. He reminds me who is in charge from time to time." "I suppose I haven't helped your case since I'm always wanting out." "It's all right Kiddo. Sometime I think he's right. You give me fresh hope for freedom. As much as I have grown to accept my place here I still wouldn't mind the freedom that I used to enjoy." Keep dreaming. "I don't know Al, after the last month I'm not sure it's worth it." "I know it's hard to draw the line on how much your freedom is really worth. In the end you're the only one who can decide that." He had picked up a hamper of folded clothes. I did too and followed him to the closets. Along the way something popped into my mind and I asked, "Why do you suppose the town never called the army or something?" "I have since learned that the town leaders have an agreement with the King. The vampires purchase all of their needs, fresh food, clothes, and the like from them giving that town a decent profit margin. In return they keep mum about us. If they called in any authorities the vamps would rush in and kill every last person in town." "But what if it's daytime?" "Doesn't matter the army wouldn't respond that fast" "They would if it were a real threat." "Yes a 'real' threat. Remember how the police treated me? The army would never believe them. If they were lucky they'd send an investigator but by the time they got there all they would find is a town hit by a plague and no vampires." "Surely they can't control everyone. Someone could leave the town and prove it." "No, the vampires make it very clear that no one but a select few even know about them and they're not allowed to leave town." "But I thought everyone knew. No one would help you." "You have to understand the people in that town are paranoid. They don't really know why but they have their peace and like to keep it that way. I was a stranger acting erratically. Everyone was too afraid to talk to me. They probably thought I was one of 'those' they had been warned about." "So they're oppressed too? They're as much slaves as we are, they just aren't aware of it." "I'm afraid so." Al had nothing more to offer and I left him more depressed than when I went to see him. If he was right, there really was no hope left. Nate laid down his cards. "Two pair. Tens and threes." I turned over my cards. All I had was a pair of kings. Nate gleefully collected his chips. I didn't care one way or another. This game was just a distraction that was failing in its task to take my mind off what Al said. "Your mind doesn't seem to be in the game." Chuck observed. "Huh?" I asked. I was watching the crowd. "You don't normally lose that badly." "Huh?" I asked again. This time I had understood him I just didn't realize what it meant. "Give it up." Nate told Chuck. "She's been this way since she got out." "You in?" Jean asked me. I hadn't been aware that everyone had already anted. "Yeah." I threw in a white chip. Cards were dealt to me but I didn't pick them up. I watched a vampire move about the court. It was Victoria, one who was not known for her gentleness and yet she wasn't half as cruel as some of the others. At least I didn't think so until that night. As I watched, I feared she was coming for me. About 3/4 of the way she changed her course and bent over a fairly new slave, Brandy. I watched as the poor girl turned pale when Victoria bent down and whispered to her. My throat clenched and my heart thumped. I was afraid for Brandy. "Toni!" Jean snapped. I came back to my senses and questioned her with a glimpse. "It's fifteen to you." I panicked I hadn't even looked at my cards. I quickly glanced over the three red and two black not really comprehending them then started grappling at my chips. It was then that a scream pierced the low hum of the room and all became silent except for Brandy's struggling protestations. We all turned to see what was happening. Victoria pinned Brandy to the table by one hand while she bit into the slave's wrist. As bites go it was not too severe but this was all a fairly new experience to Brandy. She freaked out. She pushed the vampire, hollered for help and tried yanking her arm away, all at the same time. I wanted to rush over and help her. I could imagine what she was going through. The fear of the vampire attacking her was nothing compared to the feeling of hopelessness as no one would come to her aid. I of all people knew what kind of despair that situation created. Now I learned a new type of despair as I found myself torn between wanting to alleviate her pain and humiliation and keeping myself from being torn to pieces. I knew I could not help her. Physically I was no match for a vampire. While it might make her feel better now my feeble attempt at saving her would not do Brandy or myself any good. It reminded me of that time I tried to help Al when Keir attacked him. My blood boiled as I watched. I couldn't look away. Since I couldn't save her I would do that much. I silently vowed that I would avoid Victoria if at all possible. I crushed the cards I held in my hand. "You don't like being tied down do you?" A voice said softly beside me. I recognized it immediately. "No mistress." I whispered. "The lack of control frustrates you. You need to act but are denied. You struggle to break those bonds but they become tighter." "You're describing my entire life." "You can break free. You have learned from Keir that if you don't struggle the control will be returned to you. That is what she is learning now." Kama breathed in my ear. "No gun, no knife can save her. Not even if everyone in this room stood up against the vampire could she be saved. Only if she lets go and gives in, will she be saved. If others try to interfere now she will not learn this lesson." "But what if she doesn't learn quickly. She'll die." "Doesn't she wish to die?" "Probably. If it's the only way to truly be free." "I think she might learn to appreciate her captivity as well as the freedom it provides." "Are we talking about her or me?" Finally I turned to look up to her. She was gone. She had been there, hadn't she? It wasn't my imagination. I turned to Nate to ask him but he still watched Victoria and Brandy. At this point Victoria left Brandy shaking on the table. As if let loose by a latched spring I rushed to her side. I took hold of her face and shushed her giving her comforting words like "It will be all right" even though I didn't believe them. She stared back at me and I knew she didn't believe them either. Her eyes reflected the fear I had once felt in her position and my heart welled over with pity for her. Nate too had come to her aid and together we lifted her small frame and rushed her to the infirmary. I had a feeling of déjà vu and tried to remember who it was that carried me to the infirmary after Heremon's initial attack. I came up blank. I attempted to hang around. Dr. Wendel wouldn't allow it. He sent me away before I could even get a word out. I wanted to explain to her what I had gone through. She might find solace in knowing that she wasn't alone and that it wasn't always going to be that way. I also felt responsible. I should have tried to help her. What if I could have found a way to stop Victoria. Would I have gotten up the nerve had Kama not distracted me? I would never know now. I had lost that opportunity because I had been too afraid. I sat sulking again in the closet. I had to sort out these feelings. I wanted to act and couldn't. I wanted to die and couldn't. What was I to do? Live in misery the rest of my life? It doesn't take a genius to realize that Kama knew escape was on my mind and was trying to avert it. There was someone else who knew about this and had his own reasons for doing what he was about to do. I felt a presence. Someone else was in the closet with me. There were no sounds like a door opening, no movement of the air. I just had a feeling. I previously had my eyes closed. I now opened them to check. My eyes took a moment to adjust back to the darkness. When they did, I found I was indeed not alone. "So this is where you hide? Not exactly the luxury suite." There was a lanky man with shoulder length light brown hair sitting before me on the boxes. He was examining the vacuum cleaner before him. I backed up into the corner when I didn't recognize him. He was definitely not a slave, nor any vampire that I had seen. "Who... who are you?" "Ah yes, my manners! We have yet to meet I suppose. You may call me Velren." He said as if I should recognize the name instantly and it explain the world to me. Still troubled by his appearance I had the urge to break for the door. If he meant me harm it would be easy for him to keep me from leaving through it. What would he do if I yelled for help? Yet he wasn't focused on me. He leisurely looked about the closet. He now held a rag. He examined it back and front then tossed it aside, took a second rag and did the same thing. There wasn't much of a treacherous air about him. He was more a mystery than anything else right at the moment. I couldn't help noticing his disarming, handsome, distinguished countenance, like that of an English aristocrat. I couldn't image how he entered without my noticing. It's like he appeared out of thin air. "Are you... Real?" I asked and poked his knee. It was solid enough. "Don't be absurd. I'm as real as everything you perceive about you." "Um..." While I could debate for hours over what was real in the universe I decided not to. "What do you want?" "To help." He said simply then examined a bottle of cleaning fluid. I watched him for another moment then asked, "Are you going to elaborate, or clean a window?" "You wish to leave this place." He said as he put the bottle down and finally concentrated on me. "Yes." I prompted. It spooked me a little that someone I didn't even know knew that about me. Perhaps he was a vampire and could read my mind. "I can help." He said again. "Help how?" He picked up another rag placed it over his hand and when he pulled it away there was a small vile in it. The substance in it looked like water but I had a feeling it wasn't. "This will make any vampire sleep that is within 15 feet of the release point." "And how am I supposed to get that close without them seeing me and without me being affected?" "That is something you must determine." I took the vile and looked at it curiously. It was definitely not something that had been in the closet. Perhaps he had carried it in with him. But where did he come from? I was about to ask when I looked up to where he should have been. He was gone. I turned around in the small space that was the closet. There was no where for him to have gone, unless he went out the door without me noticing. I opened the door and stood there staring at the slave court. There was not one person out of place, no one that looked like this man who called himself Velren.



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