Leaving the Light By: Christine Schnell

 Chapter 43



	Just as I hit the ground I woke with a pain in my neck.  I
wasn't dead.  Kama had awaken me by biting into my neck.  It
made no sense.  She shouldn't be hungry as she fed from me
earlier.  There was no delight this time only wooziness.  I did
know this was real despite my disorientation and being half
asleep.  

	She wrapped her arms around me, even after I told her "I don't
feel well."  She wasn't listening.  That sinking feeling came
back.  I almost felt as if I were falling again.  At least this
time when I hit bottom I went unconscious.

	The world filled with lights and movement that made me ill. 
They swirled around me and I kept loosing my balance.  Each time
I fell an invisible force like a warm gust of wind propped me
up.  The air was fresh and clean like right after rain.  It
would be nice if distressed voices didn't fill the void.  I
searched and still could see no one.  I grappled forward blinded
by the light.  I didn't make much progress as something was
pulling on me from behind.  I tried to loose myself from its
grasp but again there was nothing there.

	Laughter greeted me.  I knew that laugh.  "Velren?"  He didn't
answer.  I called a couple more times with no result.  Was he in
my mind or was I in his.  Either way, there was nothing. 
"Hello?"  It was stupid I know to call to thin air expecting an
answer.  "Harvey?"  Hey, it could have worked.  Yeah and I also
expected a bunch of pink elephants to march around me.

	In anger I thrust out my arms and yelled at nothing, "Where are
you?"  I swatted at the empty air several times before my hand
came upon something solid.

	My mind caught up with my body and found my hand clenched by
another.  Kama and Dr. Wendel floated above me.  Both looked
distressed.  

	The doctor nodded to her and silently wheeled away a machine. 
I knew that machine too well.  I had nearly died?  Why does this
always happen to me?  I get so close then they bring me back.  

	I could tell Mistress Kama repented this.  For what I wasn't
sure, she knew I wouldn't have been sorry to escape in that
fashion.  I would not mind if she was the one to usher me to my
death.  She held my hand softly and was on the verge of crying. 
At least she didn't sabotage the life support machine this time.
 Then again, maybe she didn't have to.  "I almost killed you
again."  Maybe I was hallucinating but her mouth didn't move. 
Why again?  I must have misunderstood, for it had been just a
dream, right?

	Bram came into view behind her put a hand on her shoulder and
without a word she moved from my side.  He took her position and
my hand.  Then he kissed me on the forehead.  "You'll be okay
now."  His lips did move.  

	"Kama," I overheard the doctor call to her.  She didn't say
anything but I assume she stopped to talk to him.  He tried to
be quiet but I could still hear him.  "What happened to her?"

	"We went over this, I drank too much, that's all." 

	Bram tried to distract me by saying, "You've been out for
nearly a week.  You're recovering well though.  Much better than
the last time."

	"You know as well as I do that's normal for her."  Miss Kama
said loudly.  She obviously didn't care if I heard.

	Bram tried to explain, "Kama has been under stress lately and
that's made her hungrier than normal."

	"No I mean abnormal even for her"  

	Even as the doctor tried to whisper, Bram said, "You know she
didn't mean to."  He made it hard for me to eavesdrop.  

	Still I heard the Doc say this: "It doesn't look like run of
the mill amnesia."

	"I made her forget a couple things."

	"Such as?"

	"It doesn't concern you."  Kama's voiced rose and Bram gave up
trying to distract me.

"Yes it does."  Boy he got pissed.  "I'm her doctor, mental as
well as physical, and I need to know everything in order to
treat her properly."

	"I can wipe out her entire mind and not have to answer to you."
 She stomped away.

	The doctor muttered, "Damnit, I'm a general practitioner not a
psychologist."  He came back to my bedside.  "Bram, it's time
for you to leave."

	"I'm not leaving."  He puffed up his chest.

	"I'm responsible for her.  She's had enough excitement.  I'm
sedating her and you will be in the way."  All of this I'm sure
Bram knew but I think the Doc was voicing it for my benefit.

	"I'm not leaving."  Bram repeated.

	"It's all right."  I told Bram.  I didn't want him to feel that
he needed to be here for me.  Besides this was the safest place
I could be right now.  Unless he thought Kama would come back to
finish me off.

	"I'm staying."  

	"Suit yourself.  Don't blame me if you're bored to tears for
hours."  Bram watched the doctor carefully as he filled then
applied an injector to my arm.  

	The Doc left us and I watched Bram's loving face get blurrier
and darker.

	It was a blissful dreamless sleep and waking up was much the
same as falling asleep except in reverse.  There was Bram and
his same watchful gaze.  "I love you."  My thick tongue flopped
about in my mouth.  His thin lips widened and his forehead
softened.

	"Not half as much as I love you."  He leaned over and kissed me.

	I felt warm all over and wanted to envelop myself in him.  I
pulled him as close as my weak arms could.  He only started to
resist when we heard, "Hey, none of that in here."  Dr. Hilltop
sidled up to us and looked at my monitor.  "Looking good.  Dr.
Wendel agrees that you can be released conditionally.  We want
to see you back here every day for checkups for at least a week.
 After that, we'll see how you're doing.  No strenuous
activity."  He winked at Bram, "And no feedings for at least
three days."

	"I'll take care of her."  Bram declared.

	"I'm sure you will."  Chris held my hand.  "Take care.  Eat
lots of proteins and vitamins.  I've informed the kitchens of a
general diet plan for you.  When you're feeling up to it, I've
put some clothes for you to change into in the restroom.  Take
your time."

	"Thanks."  I said and he moved off.

	Bram helped me up and to the restroom where I changed clothes. 
I felt fine.  I wasn't woozy any longer.  Still I took my time. 
As I straightened my hair, my reflection showed me a worn down
pale bony face.  It frightened me to find that for the first
time I noticed I looked about 10 or more years older than I was.
 There were no gray nor wrinkles after all I was only 27.  Well,
I thought I was.  I wasn't very sure what year it was.  

	Life here had certainly taken its toll.  I was not the same
person I was when I came here physically or mentally.  I never
conceived of doing what that person in the mirror had done.  The
person I was looking at had no morals.  She was considering
several propositions made my vampires and was being utterly
selfish.  She would unconsciously sell out another slave if it
saved her from the whip.

	I wanted to punch the mirror to rid myself of that face.  I
drew my hand back and it shook as the energy built in it.  I
stopped it from going forward as I knew it would hurt if I did
hit the mirror.  Instead I swiped the air and cursed.

	I walked out of the room with tears in my eyes.  Bram tried to
comfort me but I pushed him away.  He was part of the problem
after all.  He walked apart from me and in silence all the way
to his room.  I plopped myself down on his couch and examined my
nails.  He waited patiently for me to come around.  In the
meantime he got me some water and a small bowl of nuts.  Finally
it dawned on me what a jerk I was being and how good he was. 
"I'm sorry."

	"It's okay."  He finally sat down with me and took my hand.  I
fell into his lap.  "Don't you worry about me.  You've had a lot
to deal with.  I understand you need some space.  I wish I could
make everyone give it to you." 

	"I hate my life." 

	"Just imagine if I hadn't brought you here you'd be stuck in
that dead end job, married some creep and have a dozen kids." 

	He always knew the right thing to say.  I would hate that life
too.  "Or I could have been promoted, had a sweet live in
boyfriend no kids and published a book or two."

	"Well yeah, but I think the whole no kids thing is pretty
unbelievable.  Not with how much of a nymphomaniac you are."

	"Am not."

	"Are too."

	"Not."

	"Too."

	"Oh yeah, well I can prove it.  I won't have sex with you for a
whole week."

	"Hmm.  That kind of backfired on me didn't it?"  I laughed with
him for some time.

	Bram was a dear he wanted to fawn over me.  I begged him not to
fret over me and to get some sleep himself.  He had be awake for
the last two days.  I slept as well.  My blood count was still
low and I knew I'd be needing my energy soon.  Bram attempted to
hide from me the fact that Erik was coming the next evening to
pick me up.  His mind was an open book to me now, so it wasn't
easily done.  He did manage to keep from me why.

	I don't know how long we were there.  We didn't talk very much.
 I wanted to know about things like the statue, but I didn't
want to start a fight so I let it go for now.  We just enjoyed
each other's presence for what little time we had together.  He
wouldn't let me lift a finger except when we played cards and
then he wouldn't play anything more nerve-wracking than Go Fish.

	We cuddled in bed for hours.  I must have been thinking about
that face in the mirror for Bram said, "You know, I don't think
you look any older.  In fact I think you're just as beautiful,
if not more so, than the day we met."

	"Flatterer."

	"It's true."

	"Is not."

	"Is too."

	"Not."

	"Too."

	"Not."

	"Too."

	"Not."

	"Not."

	"Too."

	"Okay, if you say so."  Bram relented.  "It's true you're the
most beautiful person I've ever known."

	"Am not."  If there was one thing Bram does for me, it's make
me feel young.  I so enjoyed playing with him.

	He was about to say, "Are too." except he stopped and looked at
the door.  "Come in Erik."

	I took a deep breath.  To my disappointment our little game was
being cut short.

	Erik entered somewhat timorously.  I think he Bram intimidated
him as he wouldn't face us directly.  The typical greetings were
exchanged then Erik knelt down before me and pointed to a spot
on my chest.  "You have spilled."

	I looked down to check and he flung his finger upwards catching
the end of my nose.  I didn't laugh when he chuckled.  "Not
funny?  I suppose I need to change my tactics, no?"

	"Nah, just be you Erik."

	"Wise words.  Now, will you come with me?"

	I looked longingly to Bram praying he would stop me.  He
didn't, but he did warn, "You know the doctors said no strenuous
activity."  

	"Si, however, the King, he said, we are to go tonight.  I am
one fool on an errand for another."

	"God Damnit!  Doesn't he know-"  Bram stopped when he looked me
then calmed himself.  He was so concerned for me he didn't even
want me feeling his excitement.  "You won't drink from her." 
Bram said sternly.

	"No seņor."

	Bram took me by the hand and walked me to Erik.  "Okay.  Keep
him out of trouble Toni."

	"What kind of trouble can this guy get into?"  I asked.

	"Well there was the time I got stuck up a tree with a monk." 
Erik was joking right?

	"Okay, forget I asked."

	I hugged Bram good-bye and left with Erik.  It didn't take me
long to realize we were walking in the opposite direction from
Erik's room.  "Where are we going?"

	"I have a surprise for you."

	I said, "I don't like surprises.  I've had too many of them
here."

	"You will like this one."

	"Really?  What is it?"  I asked with fake excitement.

	"It wouldn't be a surprise if I told you would it?"

	"I could pretend to be surprised."

	"You are going to help slaughter cows."

	"Great."  I said unenthusiastically.

	"Are you surprised?"

	"Yeah I guess.  I didn't even think you guys had..."  

	Erik started laughing.  "You are very gullible seņorita."

	We walked for some time on a fairly straight route.  We walked
directly up a corridor that ended in a "T" with another
corridor.  Before we got close to the end a grinding noise, like
stone on stone, filled the hall.  I saw a crack open near the
bottom of the wall immediately before us.  The apparently blank
wall had a hidden passage!

	As it slid upwards, a gyrating sound replaced the grinding.  I
imagined wheels and pulleys inside the wall lifting the door.

	"How'd you do that?"  I asked.

	"I asked for the door to be opened."

	"You asked the door?"

	"Don't be silly, I asked those in the control center."

	"Telepathically?"

	"Of course."

	"Wow."  I looked at the door for a sign of a lock or something.
 There were just groves that it slid up and down in.

	"The locking mechanism is in-between both floors.  Without
permission to open it you'd have to blow up the entire wall to
get through."

	"What's so important in here that you'd want to keep us out."

	"I'll show you."

	We entered the door way and I stopped to inspect it.  Only
grooves in the wall were visible.  There wasn't even an opening
in the ground a slab of cement had moved into place to cover it.
 They certainly were paranoid about security on this door.  I
turned to Erik to ask why.  I didn't need to ask for the answer
filled my eyes and my jaw dropped.

	Erik did well to hide this from me.  I had to wonder why he was
even showing me now.  Certainly they wouldn't let me ever use
one.  

	I gazed in wonder at the room.  No, it wasn't a room.  It was a
wide cavern.  There were even stalactites hanging from the
ceiling.  "So this is where they hide the bat cave!"  That
description wasn't far off.  While there were no large computers
with many buttons and pretty lights, they did store very cool
stuff here.  There wasn't a gadget filled car like that super
hero's but there were cars, many cars.  From old well-kept Model
Ts to the Lamborghini I was caressing.  "I've always wanted to
drive one of these things."  I peered in the window at the dash
and started drooling.  The leather was so shiny I knew if I
opened the door I'd be overwhelmed with that new car smell.

	"You like?"

	"Oh yeah."  He slid the door upwards and I was right.  I
breathed deeply and savored the experience.  Timidly I reached
out and touched the leather seat.  I was astounded at its
softness.  

	"Sit."

	"I couldn't, I'd mess it up."

	"Not possible, you are cleaner than it."

	"Right Erik."  Nonetheless, I sat.  Well, really I was just
about lying down.  It wasn't exactly comfortable.  My long legs
scrunched despite the seat being pushed fully back and my head
was brushing against the ceiling.  Still it was like a dream
come true.  I took in every feature from the right angled
dashboard to the speedometer that went up to 300km/h.  I
imagined myself speeding down the road passing up cops as if
they were standing still.  

	"If your rear were melted to the seat it could not fit you
better."

	"Um, thanks."  I rubbed my hands around the steering wheel. 
"What do ya think?  I need a pair of sunglasses?"

	"Glasses made of the sun?  Would that not blind you?"

	"You're right, it's probably dark out anyway."

	"Si, and out you come."  My face fell with my hopes.  Erik had
been teasing me after all.  He helped me roll out of the car and
I almost sobbed.  My dream car was moving further from me as he
pulled me along.  I watched it lustily.  

	We passed several cars and at a white stretched limo I asked,
"Can we take that one?"

	"When did you become the jester?"  Not all cars were fancy, for
the most part they're your average mid class sedan, cars that
would go unnoticed.  There were also a couple junkers.  Each had
darkened windows, or like on the vans, no windows to the back. 
This was probably so that no light could intrude.

	Erik stopped some distance from the sport cars and limo.  "Is
someone sick?"  I puzzled at the short row of ambulances.

	"Sick with eagerness to leave."  He did a slight dance towards
the back doors and flung them open.  Thoughtfully he added,
"When we pick up certain supplies it comes in handy."

	"Why isn't there a Swat van then?  Wouldn't that come in handy?
 You could go in confiscate stuff and leave without anyone
questioning your authority."

	"That would be just a little illegal, no?"

	"Yeah, and kidnapping isn't?"

	"We are not going to kidnap anyone.  Did you have someone in
mind?"

	"No.  Besides you know what I mean."

	He jumped in the back.  "No, what do you mean?"

	"So we're not going to pick up another slave?"

	"Of course not, they are heavy."

	"Where are we going then?"

	"Somewhere."

	"Somewhere where?"

	"Somewhere where we're going."

	"Okay, we're obviously not going to the town if we need to
drive to get somewhere."

	"You'll find out soon enough."

	I started to move towards doors he stood between when he shut
them before me.  I shrugged and moved to the passenger side.  He
began laughing.  I twirled on him.  "What?"

	He spoke to the crack between the doors.  "Why do you think
you're going with me?"

	"Doesn't anyone ever give a straight answer around here?"

	"Seriously, why?

	"I don't know, a light snack?"	

	"Nah, seņorita belittles herself.  I don't drive, you drive,
si?"

	"No I don't see.  You can't tell me in all your years you've
never learned to drive?"

	"Not even on a golf course."  His pudgy little cheeks jiggled
when he laughed.

	I moved back around towards the driver's side grumbling.  "It's
never occurred to you that I've never driven one of these things
either."

	"Sure but the chances of you running it off a cliff side are
smaller."

	I clamored in and looked at all the buttons.  I wasn't too sure
of our safety.  The controls were overwhelming.  Still, most
were legibly labeled and there was little chance I would find
myself pressing the wrong one at an inopportune moment.  Really
it seemed normal enough, with one little problem; it was a stick
shift.  "I can't drive stick." 

	Erik's head appeared above my right shoulder.  "That is not
what Sir Bram said."

	"Erik!"

	"Truly now is as good a time to learn as any, si?"

	"You've got to be kidding me!  You won't learn to drive but you
expect me to learn to drive stick, in an ambulance no less!"

	"You're right, I'm kidding, get out."

	"Thank God."

	"Ha, kidding again."

	"Huh?"

	"You can do it."

	I had to disagree.  "I've driven one stick shift over ten years
ago for twenty minutes."

	"Just like riding a bike, I'm sure you'll remember."

	"Yeah, like you ever learned to ride a bike."  I said under my
breath.  "I nearly crashed when I drove that car.  And I don't
ride bikes very well."

	"That's besides the point.  The key is in the ignition, you may
crash now."

	His head disappeared back and he lay comfortably on the gurney.
 "Um, hate to ask but where am I going and how do I get there?"

	"Turn the key."

	I thought back to my days as a teenager when my mother tried to
teach me to drive stick.  The memory was faint and all I
remember was bucking her sweet sports car around an empty
parking lot and nearly crashing it into the wall.  There were
too many nice cars around here.  I was afraid to hit one of them.

	I took a deep breath and held it while I turned the key. 
Nothing happened.  Thinking back again I remembered that it was
different from the automatic.  I pushed in the clutch.  It was
much harder than on my mom's sports car.  I had to use muscle to
do this and I think it only went in half way.  I knew I did
something bad when there came horrible grinding noises and the
vehicle gave a lurch then started moving slightly.  I turned the
key back to the off position.

	I looked at the stick and realized my mistake.  Again, I pushed
in the clutch and moved the stick to neutral then turned the
ignition.  It started this time with no incident.

	I let out my breath and Eric laughed at me.  "I knew that."  He
pointed at the stick.  "You want Me to drive?"

	"Yeah!"  I started unbuckling my seat belt.

	"Got 'ja."

	"I'm not supposed to have stress remember?  Right now I could
have a nervous breakdown."

	"I'm sure you can handle a little stick seņorita."

	"You should know."

	"Oh, she thinks she can outwit me."

	"Certainly if your wit is as large as your stick."

	"Ah, then it is too large for this small vehicle."

	I really didn't want to touch that in any way.  Besides my
attention was drawn to the small computer screen that had
finally booted and showed a small electronic map with a little
red arrow pointing the way out.  I had heard of global
positioning systems but had never seen one.  "So do I put in an
address or something?"

	"It's magic.  Drive and the world will show you the right path."

	"Okay."  I pressed down on the gas only slightly and the
ambulance jerked forward.  "Ahhhh!  We're all going to die!"  He
called from the back.  I ignored him and tried to head for a
large flat section of the wall that looked like the exit. 
Turning the large machine wasn't easy.  Obviously it didn't have
much power steering.  It took me a little while and I stalled it
twice before we got to the doors of the cavern.  The doors, like
the smaller version, opened without any indication of them being
told to do so.  

	Yellow-orange light filled the opening doorway and I realized
it was just starting to be dusk.  I wondered what time it was
exactly.  Was it summer or winter?  I didn't have the time to
think on it as I was still having trouble propelling the
ambulance towards the light.  As it pitched forward through the
doors my eyes started to adjust and I looked about to get my
bearings.  We did not come out at the same spot as the complex
or where I had during my escape attempt.

	I froze up for a moment.  Was this real?  Were they letting me
out or was it a setup to say I was escaping again?  I had a good
mind to turn this monstrosity around and hand the keys directly
to the King.  I looked behind me.  Erik had slid shut the door
between us so that the light would not enter.  "Erik?"  He
didn't answer.  

	It was time for decision making and knowing Bram would not let
me leave with Erik if he suspected a plot against me.  I pushed
the accelerator in and the doors to the cavern slid shut.  The
cavern was part of the mountain wall a ways from town.  The
ambulance slid down the slope without a problem and I found
myself becoming used to the rhythm of the clutch and stick.

	As we left our little valley we entered a sparse forest of
pines and oak.  I followed the arrow on the screen over the
curvy road down the mountain.  I tried talking to Erik a couple
more times but I had a feeling he was asleep.  This was going to
be a very lonely drive.  I poked at the buttons on the GPS
trying to zoom out and get some kind of information.  It was
stuck on the same view.  Soon I gave up as the wonderful read
and orange sunset framed by the large green trees filled my
vision.  I was awestruck as slowly deep shades of purple worked
their way into the sky. 

	The trees fell away quickly and within an hour of leaving the
vampire complex we had winded our way down a lonely mountain
road and onto a deserted, desert highway.  It was dark so making
out details was nearly impossible.  If an animal decided to
cross the road right now he'd be on the breakfast menu for the
birds.

	My eyes adjusted as I watched the bushes turn into cacti.  At
first they were just the little round ones but these eventually
gave way to the classic Saguaro cactus.  You know those tall
ones that pictures show with two arms as if it's being held up
at gunpoint.  Many of these had five or six arms, so they were
probably fairly old.  Not too long after this I saw a sign that
made my heart almost stop.  It said simply "60."  No, that
wasn't the speed limit.  That was the road I was on.  Was I in
California after all?  No, couldn't be, to my knowledge cactuses
don't grow there at least not anywhere near the 60.  Maybe this
was New Mexico or Arizona?

	I drove for another hour or two.  I had plenty of time to
myself and after much thinking I came to the conclusion why they
sent me with Erik.  The same reason they sent up to fight the
hunters.  The vampires were trying to distract me.  Get my mind
off more depressing and perhaps hurtful things such as my list
of the deceased and Kama nearly killing me.  Perhaps it was to
keep me from the other slaves as well.  What it was not was any
sort of freedom or pleasure trip.  Had that been the case I Bram
would be with me.  Conversely had they wanted to torture me more
they would have given me Keir or Heremon as a companion.  Erik
was mostly harmless in all respects and therefore the best for
the job.

	Eventually Erik awoke and joined me in the cabin.  We talked
about nonsense things.  The topic of what exactly we were doing
that required an ambulance came up.  At first he was hesitant
but couldn't hold his own against my stubbornness.  "We are
picking up certain drugs for the infirmary and labs that we can
not produce on our own."

	"Why don't we just get them shipped to us like everything else?"

	"Not everything.  There are items such as these that
governmental organizations watch closely.  Don't you think they
would become suspicious if a little town kept ordering more
drugs than they needed for their population."

	"Yeah I guess, but why not send someone from the town."

	"Ah, that is where I fit in.  I will read their minds and
smooth talk my way into their hearts.  Yum, hearts."

	I laughed.  "You couldn't smooth talk your way out of a paper
bag."

	"I can prove it."  He went into the back and found a bag that
was no larger than his hand and used it as a puppet trying to
persuade me to take it off his hand.  I grabbed it, blew air
into it then popped it.  All he had to say was, "See, I told you
I could."

	The traffic got thicker, there was certainly a bustle about the
area that told me we were coming into a city.  Dusk had come and
gone and yet commuters pushed their way through the busy highway
to get home.  Eventually there was nothing but buildings around
us.  In the dimness I never saw a sign.  I looked hard for it
too.  I had no idea what city this was.  

	Soon I got a warm tingly sensation.  Almost like déjā vu. 
Buildings looked familiar.  Of course every city had industrial
areas that had one and two story buildings along the highway,
but these, the signs, the lights and shapes I could have sworn
I'd seen before.  The company names were familiar, no doubt
because I had been an engineer and was familiar with most of the
major companies.  That wasn't it though.  Then I saw it, the
sign that had made everything fall into place.  I recognized it
because I had been here before, briefly a few times when
visiting my father.  There it was in white and green highlighted
with the orange of the streetlights, Sky Harbor International
Airport 1 mile.  I was in Phoenix!

  	That was when I started to notice most of the license plates
around me were Arizona plates.  I hadn't even thought to look at
those in the cavern.  Erik twisted uncomfortably in his seat. 
"Now that you know, you can not tell anyone, si?"

	I nodded.  Clearly no one would tell me and thus I must keep
this pact.  I understood how crazy it could drive someone if
they knew where they were and were unable to do anything.  It
probably would have been the best had I not known as well.  No
wonder it looked familiar, I had been here.  My father lived in
a town not too far from there.  My father.  I was so close to
him all of this time.  It was so tempting to ask for a visit.  I
hadn't seen him since years before my kidnapping.  I knew it was
impossible so I didn't even ask.

	We left the freeway and now weaved our way through the streets.
 The glow of the buildings and street lights glittered a rainbow
upon the road.  "Are you hungry?  We have time for supper before
we perform our task."  Erik asked.

	One of the sets of colorful lights reminded me of the color,
taste and smell of spicy salsa.  "Feel like a little Mexican?"

	"I feel like I could take a large Mexican."  

	I parked the ambulance away from the main parking lot at Erik's
insistence.  He did not want to attract too much attention with
it.  Erik reached into one of the many compartments and handed
me a small wad of cash.  "I think this will come in handy."  We
hopped out.  Erik started walking towards a small group of men
standing by a public telephone.  

	Remembering Kama's edict I caught up with Erik and pulled on
his hand towards the restaurant.  "Come inside with me."

	"No, I see some yummies right over there."

	I slid my finger over his lips.  "Please."  He eyed me and I
think was trying to read my thoughts.  Afraid he'd get away from
me I planted one on his lips.  I hoped Miss. Kama was getting a
kick out of this 'cause I wasn't.

	"Seņorita, please."  Erik wasn't either and he peeled me off
him.  "You are like a dry camel in the desert, always looking
for the mirage to drink from."

	"What's the matter, Don't like girls?"  I hung on him.  

	It was too much.  He dropped all pretense of being amusing.  "I
think you are delirious from hunger.  Go get something to eat, I
will see you in an hour, si?"  He rushed from me as fast as his
stubby legs would carry him.

	Well, that didn't work.  I thought about crying to get him back
but I didn't have a good command of my tears.  Getting upset
with him would only push him away more as would begging.  I
needed to offer him something he couldn't resist.  I watched him
from afar as he approached the men.  I thought maybe if I hit on
one of them he might become jealous.  Then again he might
encourage it.  

	I got a whiff of the blend of spices being cooked inside and
decided I could think of something over dinner.  After all I had
plenty of time with him afterwards.

	I walked into the diner and fingered the calendar not too far
from the door.  May 2001.  Nearly four years!  I had been with
the Vampires that long?  I knew it had been a while.  It just
now hit home.  So many things had happened so quickly it hardly
seemed as one year had gone by.  I had missed four years of my
life, four years of my nephew growing up.  For all I knew he
could have more than one brother and sister now.  Four years of
friends missed.  Four years of technological advances.  Four
years of...  Well, nothing.  

	I examined the restaurant.  It looked no different from it
should have four years ago.  I doubted it changed much.  It was
your typical cafe with vinyl red booths and plastic tables.  It
had a clean polished feel.  There were maps and murals in bright
colors of bulls and old women with large plates of meat and
vegetables.  The smell in the air had a tomato base with just a
hint of cilantro.  

	Fashions hadn't changed too much, not that I paid much
attention to that sort of thing.  Though, I did notice a bit of
a retro look in the younger crowd.  Bellbottoms, yuck, I always
hated those.  I had been happy to grow up in the 80's where they
were out of style and ripped jeans were in.  It was so much
easier to maintain.  I didn't get any strange looks.  I was in a
business outfit, which I was sure would never go out of style.

	I listened to the soft guitar music trying to make out the few
words of Spanish that I understood.  The hostess finally noticed
me waiting and took me to my seat.  The menu was standard fair
American-Mexican food, tacos, burritos, enchiladas, etc.  A bowl
of warm salty chips materialized in front of me as well as a vat
of red, lumpy salsa.  As if I hadn't eaten in a week I dipped a
chip and got a large glob of the tomato paste.  It was not quite
the spiciest I've ever had.  It was excellent though and I
thought about asking for the recipe.  Gary or Harrison could no
doubt make me more.  After a few more dips into it, the spices
had built up and I did need to take a large drink of water.  I
avoided getting a margarita since I would be driving.  It would
probably help me in my quest to burst Erik from his security
bubble.  When the waitress came back for my order I asked for
one.

	While I waited, I watched the people about me.  They did not
speak quietly like those in the slave court.  They spoke
energetically and with no fear of remonstration.  Then something
happened that I wasn't expecting.  A child cried.  I swung in my
seat to get a look at it.  The boy couldn't be more than a year
old.  He stretched his arms out trying to grab the glass of soda
pop his mother had moved away from him.  She handed him a small
piece of tortilla and he became content.  I used to hate
screaming children in restaurants.  Now after four years I
realized how much I missed their presence in my life, not just
the screaming ones, but children in general.  Maybe it was just
my internal clock ticking away, but I almost wanted to go over
there and hold his tiny, tender hand.  The waitress appeared
while I still watched him pound the table with the tortilla. 
"Horrible little things aren't they."  She said as she put my
plate on the table.  "I wish people would keep better control of
their children in restaurants.  And what a mess they make. 
Sometimes I gag cleaning up after them."

	This woman was far too young to appreciate that kids weren't
the easiest things to control in restaurants.  I had to deal
with my nephew on many occasions.  I didn't answer her.  I
agreed and yet inside I had a conflict starting.  I couldn't
really put my finger on it.  I didn't feel as though I wanted
one, but I also didn't see what was wrong with that one.  After
all it may be the last time I see a kid for years.

	"They're not so bad once you get used to them."  I said.

	"You have kids?"

	"Nope, probably won't either, but I have a nephew.  You never
really appreciate them until they're gone."

	"Yeah, I suppose.  I'd die if my two brats were taken from me. 
Enjoy your meal."

	Hmmm, perhaps this waitress had more experience then I thought.
 As I ate, my thoughts wandered back to Erik.  Manipulating him
wouldn't be as easy as the Mistrress made it out to be.  He
needed special care.  I needed to figure out what he likes. 
There was more to him then just being a jester.  He was
melancholy at times.  Maybe he misses someone?  Or maybe it's
the fact nobody finds him as funny as he would like.  I
certainly haven't been laughing at his jokes very much.  A fool
should never be blamed when making light of a serious situation.
 I resolved to laugh at his jokes more.  Maybe that would be
enough to give him the attention he deserves if I do it loud
enough in the crowded slave court.

	Half way through my enchilada I lost my appetite.  This was the
best I've had in years and I couldn't eat anymore.  Something
was wrong.  I don't know how I knew but I did have a feeling
something bad had happened.  I dropped money on the table,
drained my glass and headed to the ambulance.  "Ready to go
Erik?"  I looked in the driver window to find an empty cab.  I
pulled open the back door to find that empty too.  My heart
missed a beat.  I had to remind myself that I arrived before the
designated time.  And yet...

	I nervously scanned the parking lot.  There weren't many cars
and nor any people at all.  I started to walk in the direction I
watched him go.  I didn't get too far before I saw something in
the shadows.  It looked like a pair of boots sticking out of the
darkness.  Perhaps it was a drunk or homeless person?  My
clenching stomach told me I would be wrong.  When I got closer,
I realized what it was.  

	I didn't scream but my heart pounded so hard I thought I was
having an attack.  I looked frantically around and saw no one
else.  No sign of the person who committed this atrocity.  I ran
back to the ambulance and backed it into the alleyway.  Someone
had thought ahead and installed floodlights on the outside of
the ambulance.  I used them now.  I clamored in the back and
from a well-stocked cabinet grabbed a body bag, rubber gloves
and cleaning solvent.

	I took a deep breath and reopened the rear doors.  The alley
now completely lit was empty save for trash cans and Erik's
headless corpse.  I steadied myself on the frame of the vehicle
while I prepared myself to retrieve the body.

	I laid the body bag next to Erik's body and started to roll him
into it.  When I turned him on his back I saw the stake sticking
out of his chest.  I gagged but kept my cool.  I managed to get
the bloody corpse inside the bag.  Then there was the part I
really didn't want to deal with.  

	"Just don't look at it."  I reminded myself.  I walked over to
the furry round thing not too far away.  I bit my tongue as I
bent over to pick it up.  The soft skin moved under my fingers
and I felt the jaw dropped open.  Still I didn't look.  My
stomach was queasy but I managed to get back to the body bag. 
As I placed it inside I had to look to find the zipper.  I found
his wide brown eyes staring up at me.  I stumbled to the trash
cans and retched.  My wonderful dinner left a foul aftertaste.

	Somehow I managed to get back and zipper the bag, drag it into
the ambulance and clean up the blood before getting in the
ambulance myself turning on the siren and running from the scene
of the crime.