Leaving the Light By: Christine Schnell

 Chapter 46



	Months came and went without any major events.  I had no more
incidents of accidental mind reading.  People stopped playing
cards with me because of this.  Seems my luck had started to
change.  Oh, they didn't know what was happening.  They thought
I was cheating but wasn't sure how.  They scrutinized my
shuffling of the deck and watched my hand movements so carefully
I thought if I made the wrong move they'd pull a gun on me.  I
feared getting a pair of aces and a pair of eights: a "dead
man's hand."  

	I couldn't explain it to them.  I simply knew if they had a
good hand or not.  I didn't see their hand, but it was just like
reading tells.  I knew when someone was excited with a good hand
or trying to lie their way into a bluff.  I just bided my time
and didn't bet foolishly.  

	It wasn't anything like what I could do with Bram.  It was more
of an instinct I couldn't really communicate with anyone or know
exactly what they're feeling.  I was more in tune with the
feelings of people I was close with, like Lacey and Al.  Since I
wasn't very sure how I was doing it I couldn't turn it off.  So
if someone was angry or depressed, these emotions would affect
me in the same way.  

	Kama found it amusing that this new ability had backfired on me
in this small way.  She told me this was the reason you don't go
poking around in other people's thoughts.  Yet she had
confidence in me that I would learn how to control it.  She used
the etiquette training to do what she could to help.

	Her amusement climaxed by my own reactions one evening when she
called Lacey and myself to her room.  I was extremely nervous. 
I had never had a session with Mistress Kama and another slave. 
Lacey on the other hand walked serenely.  She had apparently
been through this before.  She tried giving me details until I
started singing loudly and dreadfully to tune her out.

	When we approached the door I was in for another shock. 
Kenneth was standing in the doorway with Kama.  He wasn't
joining us too was he?  I hadn't a clue of what was going on. 
While I wanted to leave the entire situation my gut told me to
hold on a moment.  As we neared, Kenneth took Kama's cheek in
his hand.  "Don't work too hard my lovely."

	"I don't plan to."  He kissed her with passion I thought only I
and Bram shared.  "Good-bye."  She whispered as they slowly
separated and he walked down the hall in the opposite direction
from us.  

	Lacey breathed.  "Mistress Kama doesn't kiss me good-bye like
that." 

	"You want her to?"  I asked.

	"Don't you?"

	Secretly I did.  There was no way I'd tell Lacey that.  To
experience the emotional bond like that would certainly cement
my loyalty to her.  I think even back then I subconsciously
wanted her to display her approval.  It would certainly have
helped my self-esteem.  All in all, I'd rather have Bram anyway.
 He always helped me have confidence in myself.

	Mistress Kama remained in the doorway watching us.  A grin was
plastered across her face and she glowed like the aurora
borealis.  I wondered exactly how she had enough energy to
handle both of us after she finished with Kenneth.

	All my fears eased once we were inside the room.  Lacey glanced
around in awe at the brightly lit space as if she had never seen
it before.  I immediately noticed the little round table set for
tea for three.  It was apparent now what was happening. 
Mistress Kama was testing my knowledge of etiquette.  She had
only to give a curt nod to me for me to understand I was to play
hostess.

	I pulled out a chair, addressed the bewildered Lacey and asked,
"Won't you take a seat Miss Jones?"

	Lacey blinked a few times at me.  "You were telling the truth?"

	I laughed.  She still didn't believe Kama had been giving me
etiquette lessons.

	Lacey, giving in, giggled and took her seat.

	I did the same for the Mistress then glided around to the other
side of the table.

	Kama had me walking, sitting and talking like some Victorian
prude.  I even unconsciously covered my mouth to laugh.  I was
courteous and paid equal attention to both of my "guests."

	My first test came as I skimmed over the table and spotted one
of the most basic etiquette problems.  The service was set
subtly and deliberately wrong, the knives, though only butter
knives, were facing the wrong direction; outward away from the
plate.  Casually and quietly I flipped mine and even Kama's as
hers was close to me.  Lacey's however was on the other side of
the table and it would be rude of me to reach across her, so I
let it sit without a word.  When there was a break in the
conversation I stood to prepare the tea and wily managed to fix
Lacey's setting.  It was a small thing, but I noticed
illumination in Mistress Kama's demeanor and felt proud that I
had done well.

	As I went to pour the tea a voice sounded in my head. 
"Remember controlled deliberate movements.  Slowly, tip...
Tip... Tip... Tip...  If you can control your body you can
control your-"

	I couldn't concentrate and became too nervous with her
constantly in my head so I cut her off with a soundproof bubble
around my mind.  In my peripheral vision I could see indignation
in her face.  Then a wave of contentment washed across her since
I had proven her point.  Blocking thoughts had become easier for
me now so I did not have to concentrate on it.  I was able to
block her weak attempt to put thoughts in my head and not spill
a drop of tea at the same time.  I was still having difficulty
making conversation as well, but that would come in time.

	We made polite conversation never once mentioning Kenneth.  I
didn't really want to know details anyway.  I think I passed her
test when a glass of sherry spilled across the table and headed
right for Kama's lap.  I stopped it with my napkin in the nick
of time and without a break in the conversation placed a napkin
over the spill and uprighted the glass with no harm done.  The
mess will be taken care of only after the little party was over.
 

	How simple and easy things were.  It's amazing to me that there
was a time in my life when I could just sit down and enjoy a cup
of tea.  I still think Lacey showed disappointed once the tea
was gone the party was over.  I know I was.  They left to allow
me to clean up the mess.  Wasn't that nice of them? 

***

	My heart started pounding for no reason and I looked about me
nervously.  Everything was normal.  Lacey sat cross-legged on
her cot drawing another dress.  I was trying to think of
something to write without pissing off the vampires.  Somehow I
feared I had for I felt something was wrong.  It was hard to
tell what exactly.  Were they watching me?  Would Keir come
stomping into the room and rip the paper from my hand?

	"They're vampires!"  I jumped!  

	I heard the frantic call before I ever saw the owner of the
voice.  "There's vampires everywhere!"  I looked to Lacey
concerned.  She only shrugged.  "Run you fools.  They're coming
for your blood!"  I along with everyone else in the slave
quarters stretched my neck to see where it was coming from.  At
least now I understood where my anxiety came from and could
control it.

	Soon a speeding form flew around the corner and didn't slow as
it weaved in and out of the tables calling over and over.  "Run,
they're vampires!" 

	The blur resolved into Kenneth.  I think the reception was a
little different from what he anticipated.  Soft laughter
followed him instead of panic.  It didn't stop him from running
though.

	I couldn't bear it.  I stood right where I thought he'd pass. 
Lacey tried to grab my arm but missed.  "Toni, no."

	I waved her off and reached out at the stampeding body as it
called, "They're going to rip us apart!"

	Kenneth struggled against my grip until I said.  "Calm down."

	He looked at me as if he'd never seen a human before.  "They're
going to drink our blood and kill us all!"

	"They're not going to kill anyone."  God did that come out of
my mouth?

	"But they're vampires.  They do that sort of thing."  He
protested. 

	"No they don't want to kill us 'cause they'd have no more
food."  I explained.

	"That's against vampire nature: death and destruction."

	"And how much do you know about vampires?"

	He started to compose himself as he noticed he was the only one
excited and took a deep breath.  We were being watched but most
people had already lost interest.  "I've seen every vampire
flick ever made.  It's odd you know.  I've always been into the
monster movies and now I'm completely emerged in one."  He
started panicking again.  "I'm going to die.  I don't wanna die.
 I'm too young to die!"

	"Okay first off, get off the drugs." 

	"Can I have some of them?"  Lacey piped in for the first time.

	He seemed to focus on her as if she were an alien and he
started to fling his arms about.  "No, that's the prob see. 
They've taken away my whole stash of mellow appetizers."

	"Maybe we should talk to the Doc about getting him something." 
I was a bit cynical about it at the same time a bit considerate
of him.  He definitely needed something.  Lacey did nothing to
move.  Nate who had been sitting near us moved off to find the
doctor.

	Meanwhile, I needed to do damage control.  "Second, you need to
learn about these people."  I couldn't believe I was defending
the vampires.  "We're their food and their servants.  We do
their chores and let them bite us and in return we're treated
fairly as long as we don't make a fuss."

	"No."  He argued, "They may seem nice, lull you into a false
sense of security then WHAM, bleed you to death.  You know what
I mean?  Killing's in their blood."

	"Kenneth, how many people have you seen die since you got here?"

	"Um...  Well..."

	"Exactly.  No throat ripping, wall climbing, bat morphing
vampires here.  Sure they use us, and yes they have some
abilities we don't."  Or at least most of the slaves, I did not
intend to mention my own mind reading ability quite yet.  "Kama,
like the others, can kill but doesn't unless necessary."  Jesus,
they had finally gotten to me.

	"Kama?  She's...?  She's...?  She can't be one."  He looked
about him as if she would pop out of nowhere at any second.  I
too became distressed but on a different level; I feared what
they might do to him if he didn't get himself under control.

	"Kenneth, you knew, from the time you met her.  We told you she
was one of our captors."

	"But she doesn't act like a vampire!"

	"Oh yes she does."  Lacey giggled.

	I shushed her as she wasn't helping.  "That's my point.  The
blood only enhances things for them; strength, speed, mental
acuity and sensitivity to the elements to name a few.  My theory
is; it's nothing a human couldn't do under the right
circumstances.  Otherwise they're just like you and me."

	"Look at it this way," Lacey interrupted, "we do all the work
and get paid with their intense sexuality.  See, Mistress Kama
couldn't move her hips like she does if she wasn't a vampire."

	I buried my face in my hands.  With her it always came down to
one thing.  In this case it might have been just the thing.  It
at least distracted him a bit.  "You've slept with her?"

	"We all have."  Lacey piped in cheerfully.

	"I thought- she said-"  He stammered.

	"Don't worry you're still her favorite."  I assured him.

	"She told you!?"      

	"Let's just say it's obvious."  I said.

	"I don't want to be her favorite.  I don't want to let them
bite me.  Especially her, that lying bitch."

	"Whoa, Kenneth.  She didn't lie to you, she just didn't tell
you the whole truth because she knew you'd flip out like this." 

	"I'd rather hear it from her than that stupid doctor."  He
pointed at Dr. Wendel whom Nate led to us.  

	"There you are."  The doctor held an injector out towards
Kenneth.

	Again Kenneth tried to bolt.  Luckily, I was there to catch
him.  Still I couldn't hold him on my own.  Nate grabbed one of
his arms and we struggled to hold him back as he screamed. 
"Peace!  I don't need zombification!"  

	To his disappointment the doctor managed to press the injector
into his arm and he nearly instantly fell limp.  As Nate and I
tried to lay him softly on the ground, I scowled at the doctor. 
"I'm afraid he took your news worse than I did."

	"A misjudgment on my part.  He wasn't quite ready to know yet."
 Doc admitted.  "He ran before I could finish and I couldn't
find him until Nate told me where he was."

	"I thought the vampires told you when someone was ready?"  Gary
stepped up behind Dr. Wendel.

	"Yes, well, perhaps I wasn't the only one who misjudged the
situation.  I honestly don't know why he's here in the first
place."

	In a way I thought I did.  I had already learnt a lot about
myself through Kenneth.  It may be egocentric to think they
brought him here solely so I could have a barometer for my own
actions.  Nonetheless, that is what it felt like.  He and I were
so similar in many ways.

	They brought me here because of the prophecy.  I'm sure he was
not here for a similar reason.  I doubt he was brought here
solely for Kama's pleasure, so what other reason could there be
for his presence?

	When Kenneth came to his senses and returned to his cot he
didn't say a word about the outburst.  Neither did Lacey nor I. 
Over the next few days Kenneth and I talked a lot not always
about vampires but most of the time our conversations would end
up there anyway.  Most of the time I spent correcting his
misconceptions.  Inconvenient migraines no longer hampered me. 
Even when I explained the power they had over people's minds.  I
wish someone had explained these things to me.  I wouldn't have
had to learn the hard way.  Kenneth soaked it all in.  He was
trying to get all the information he could on them.  I had a
feeling he would try to use it to his advantage.  I explained to
him how being armed with knowledge of vampires would do him no
good if he attempted to escape.  It was near impossible and no
one ever made it.

	I was right as one morning as Jerib escorted him back into the
slave court.  Jerib set him roughly in his cot and walked away. 
I questioned him with my eyes.  He didn't look back at me.

	"What happened?"  I whispered.

	He quietly told me about a ventilation shaft he had found.  It
was the very same one Bram had kept me from climbing into.  He
said he didn't even make it into the shaft when Jerib grabbed
him and said, "You will not be escaping today."  

	"Then he brought me back here."

	"That was nice of him."

	"Yeah.  It's strange.  You've given me the impression they can
be violent.  He wasn't at all." 

	"Normally they are when someone tries to escape."  Without
naming names I told him the legend of the one who almost did and
got as far as the town.  Of course I embellished a little.  The
escapee didn't have such an easy time of it and by the time I
finished that person had died fighting rather than be taken
back.  I was trying to dissuade him from trying again in case he
got killed.  

	He brightened up.  "That sounds like 'Last Man on Earth' all
these vampires were going after Vincent Price and they killed
him while he was trying to escape, even after he found out how
to cure them."

	I shook my head he just didn't understand.  "They didn't kill
this person because they were irrational vampires.  They killed
her because they saw her as a danger to them."

	"Yeah, see the guy Vincent Price played had knowledge that the
vampires feared and-"

	I couldn't stand it any longer.  The truth was needed here.  "I
tried to escape once."

	"Yeah?"

	"I didn't make it very far."

	"Obviously."

	"Kenneth, you have to understand, life here it's not like the
movies.  There's no hero.  No hunters can save us.  A person
does something wrong they get hurt.  These aren't monsters. 
They are rational, thinking, living beings.  However, like
individuals in our own human race they can be... well monstrous
at times.  We do as we're told or they will do what they need to
do to protect themselves."

	"You want me to chill and let them have their way with me?"

	"Well not exactly.  I'm just saying don't try to escape; I'm
telling you this for your own good.  Learn to like the loss of
blood because there are worse things."

	He crossed his arms unbelieving.  "Such as?"

	I sighed I knew I was building up to this even though I tried
to avoid it.  The thought of it repulsed me, yet I saw no other
way to persuade him to behave.  Finally I turned around and
lifted the back of my blouse revealing my disfigured back.  He
gasped and I knew it was finally sinking in.  "This is reality
Kenneth.  They could have killed me, instead they did this."  I
said as I lowered my blouse and faced him.  "There are
consequences for our actions.  Learn from my mistake, do not
fight them."

	"Maybe you're just not the hero these people need."

	"Kenneth, I'm just trying to keep you from getting hurt.  No
one told me this when I first got here so I was punished when I
acted out against them.  I don't want to see you have the same
problems."

	"Maybe I don't want your help."  Kenneth left me there.  I felt
pretty down.  After all I knew what he was feeling and what
would happen to him if he didn't listen to me.  For a crazy
second I thought if Gary felt this way when he first was trying
to convince me to behave.

	If anything good came out of this it was that Kenneth was
taking the heat off me.  The vampires had more interest in
teaching this newbie how to act than torturing me.  As far as I
knew, he didn't try to escape again.  He was too busy serving
vampires himself.  

	He didn't avoid me like I had Gary after his first lecture. 
Kenneth was much more cordial and I almost thought he had given
up on the whole escape idea.  Had it not been for one little
incident I would have believed it.

	He stumbled to his cot midmorning.  I noticed a couple of bite
marks on the back of his neck and debated telling him to go see
the doctor about them.  After all one didn't want to go too long
between bites without them being healed.  I was opening my mouth
to speak as he turned down his bed and something fell to the
floor.

	It rolled near my feet so naturally I picked it up.  I was not
happy as I recognized a bottle similar one Gary had once handed
me.  "What is this?"  I asked rather sharply.

	"Huh?  Oh, just sleeping pills."

	"You don't have a sleeping problem.  I hear you snoring every
night."  

	"That's only when you're not keeping me awake when you're
calling for Bram in your sleep."

	"Uh uh, I don't think so.  These are dangerous.  You don't know
what they really are."

	"I don't think it's really any of your business."  He tried to
take them back from me.

	 Just as I raised my hand to throw the pills across the room
Gary grabbed them.  "Toni has a habit of throwing pills in
people's faces."  He twisted them out of my hand and handed them
back to Kenneth.

	"You don't need those."  I protested.  

	"Yeah?  Show me a better way out."

	I stood there without an answer for him.

	"At least some people know how to do the right thing at the
right time."  Gary sniped at me.

	"What?  You're disappointed in me?"  I couldn't believe this. 
Kenneth was the one that he should chastise, not me.

	"Well at least he's brave enough to consider what is the better
of two options."

	"I don't think you understand."  Kenneth tried to interject.

	I laughed in his face.  "Death?  That's the better of two
options is it?  Then why don't I see you taking that way out. 
You obviously have access to all the stupid pills you need."

	"I'm not that brave."  Gary was anything but humble about this
fact.

	"No, I think you just want to eliminate some competition.  Back
when you offered me those pills you knew didn't you?  You knew
the vampires were considering me.  You want to be one of them
and you were jealous of me."  I growled.

	"Ridiculous."

	"You're a vampire?"  Kenneth said but neither of us were
listening.  We were in each other's face and about to come to
blows.

	"Do you know something about him the rest of us don't?"  I
threw a thumb in Kenneth's direction.  "Want to eliminate a
little more competition?"

	"You're the one that should feel threatened by him.  Miss
Special isn't getting the attention she used to."

	"I don't need their attention.  I'm not the bootlicker you are."

	"Bootlicker am I?  Then why are you the one learning the proper
etiquette of vampirism?  Is it to impress that homicidal ogre
you pretend to be in love with?"

	"He's not a murderer you sack of bilge water!"  Stupid insult I
know.  It got his blood boiling though.

	I braced myself as his fists clenched.  What would happen if he
did hit me?  It's not as if I hadn't been hit before.  It wasn't
the physical pain that worried me.  He was right, I was the one
practicing etiquette and I wouldn't be forgiven if I got in a
fight.  I did the only thing I knew of to protect myself then. 
"You stuck-up fat wh-"  Then he went all slack, his face glazed
over, and then he walked away.  Did I do that?  I hardly even
tried to put the suggestion in his mind.

	"What the hell?"  Kenneth pointed dumbfoundedly at Gary.

	"Antoinette!"  A sharp female voice rang in my head.  I
couldn't win!  

	I didn't stay to answer Kenneth's questions he spurted out.  I
had to receive yet another lecture on the proper etiquette of
mind invasion.

***

	Needless to say I wasn't in a grand mood when I received my
next surprise.  Bram followed through on his promise to help me
make nice with Keir.  Only problem was I wasn't ready for the
method he used.

	I opened the door to Bram's room.  What I saw there shocked and
sickened me.  

	Bram and Keir together.  

	Not just together: Together.  

	Arms, legs and faces intertwined.

	"What the hell!?"  I stood in the doorway in total shock.

	"Hey sexy come to join the party?"  Keir beckoned.

	I shivered twice, scowled at Bram then turned on my heel.

	"Toni."  Bram came chasing after me tugging a shirt over his
head.

	"Don't talk to me."

	"I can't believe you're upset over this."  Can't he?  What
world has he been living in?

	"You...  I..."  At a lack for words, I sliced a hand through
the air between us.  "No."

	"Just listen to me for a moment."

	"No!"  I pulled away as he started to grab my arm.

	"Toni stop."  Despite my strongest efforts to the contrary I
stopped.  My anger grew.  This was the first time Bram ever
forced me to do anything.

	"You were kissing Keir!"

	"Yes."

	"He's the enemy!"

	"No, he's not!"

	"Yes, he is!"  I wanted to slam my fist to make my point.  He
restrained me more roughly as I fought.

	"Vampires can not live together for hundreds of years with
hate.  They learn to like or very least tolerate each other." 
His voice was irritatingly calm.

	"That was more than tolerating him."

	"You have to understand, we've been through a lot together."

	"So?  I've been through a lot with Lacey you don't see me
making out with her.  Besides, I thought I was the only one for
you." 

	"Toni, I love you.  I had arranged this for you.  He's here for
you."

	"Then why did he have his hand on your crotch?"  Had I been
able to, I would put up a hand before he could say anything. 
"No, I don't want to know."

	"I thought if you saw there was no animosity between us you'd
feel more comfortable with him."

	"And that makes this better how?  It doesn't alter the fact
that you were being intimate with him."

	"I don't understand what your problem is."

	"He's a guy!"  I seemed to be running thin on arguments. 

	"You sleep with Kama, how is that any different?"

	"I'm a slave and do as I'm told."

	"She doesn't force you."

	"Go to hell!"

	"What about male slaves?  Would you feel the same about them?"

	"I don't like you sleeping with anyone other than me."  There I
said it.

	"So it's just a jealousy thing."

	"Not anymore.  Sleep with whoever the fuck you like."  I tried
to move but couldn't.  "Let me go now."

	"Not until you calm down."

	"What?  You think I'm going to hurt someone?  Myself?  Get over
yourself."  I pushed on his mind then.  Pushed him away like
that first time I pushed Heremon out of my mind.  It wasn't as
easy to do it to Bram.  This time I was the one to falter
backwards.  I extinguished a great deal of energy in the act. 
Still, as soon as I was free, I ran.  I didn't even look back to
see what state I left him in.

	Why was this happening?  Why couldn't I just live a normal life?