Episode 1: Entering the Darkness
Chapter 1
Let's review what we've learnt so far, shall we?
The most obvious thing I've learned is to do as I'm told. The
second thing? Well simply put vampires will do anything
possible to get their way; murder, rape, mind manipulation,
anything. They do not feel morally obligated to follow any
human's law. This will become very important. The next thing
is common sense really; do as you're told. Of course if you
don't you'll learn as I did that fighting sometimes makes things
worse. Which leads to my next point that sometimes you have no
option but to fight. It truly is a catch 22. This is how I
learnt that love isn't always enough. Doing as your told helps
clear things up.
You didn't actually think I'd list them all did you? There's
plenty more in there but you have to decide what's important to
you. Oh, did I mention that it's imperative that you do as
you're told?
Of course each of these are important and applicable to my
future life. Yet within the next few minutes I would learn more
than that.
***
Keir forced his wrist into my mouth. I was weak and hardly
knew what was happening. I later realized he could have killed
me then and said it was an accident. He had taken too much
almost everything I had. So either he really did like me, or he
was just that afraid of the King.
His words were quiet and I fought the urge to ignore him
altogether. "Bite." I of course was not fond of this. The
whole piercing the skin deal reminded me of needles. "Bite!"
He pressed his wrist against my teeth and I could just barely
feel his vein move against them. I gathered my strength and
held my repulsion back. It didn't take much effort for me to
break his skin as he did most of the work.
The action awoke something in me. Or perhaps it was the
metallic taste in my mouth. His blood, dear lord, his blood
dropped onto my tongue. That first drop rested there for a
moment tingling like a chemical reaction. More drops followed
and I thought my mouth would catch fire. It slid down my throat
and nearly went down my wind pipe before I impulsively
swallowed. I gagged slightly and coughed just a little. The
blood still flowed as Keir pushed his wrist harder against my
teeth. Like a baby suckling for the first time on its mother's
breast I pursed my lips and forced the precious juice from his
veins.
I felt a lump slowly flowing down my throat like a stuck piece
of meat. It boiled in my belly. I wanted to throw up and purge
it from my system. I wanted to push away from Keir and his
devil's blood.
I couldn't.
Keir held me there forcing his blood to fill me until I
couldn't breathe. I began drowning in his blood. It now filled
my mouth completely and finally did go down my windpipe. I
coughed more, but Keir held fast. I fought. I felt the world
leaving me as I suffocated. Until, just as I was about to black
out, his arm left me. His blood spilled out of my mouth down
the front of me and I doubled up in a coughing fit splattering
blood all over his room as it expelled from my lungs.
My throat burned. It felt as if someone ran their fingernails
down the length of it. It ached like fists were clenching my
sternum. The pit of my stomach wrenched like small pebbles had
been thrashing around while it was empty.
I swear my whole life flashed before my eyes. I certainly
thought of my parents and sister. I remembered sitting with
them at the dinner table and fighting with my sister, I
remembered walking to school and weather changes I've been
through. Road trips and quiet moments in front of the TV flew
by. Most clearly I envisioned the first time Bram bit me,
waking in the infirmary and everything that filled the five
years since. These definitely weren't pleasant memories. I
didn't die it just seemed as if I had. My muscles ached and my
head hurt. At that moment I wasn't sure what was worse, being
whipped by Keir or this.
Keir ran his hand through my hair and tried to soothe me. I
took deep breaths trying to calm myself and keep myself from
fighting him. After all, I wanted this didn't I?
I felt no different, besides the pain. I didn't feel a surge
of strength, nor any other attribute normally associated with
their... no, my kind.
When I grew brave enough to open my eyes nothing appeared
different. Well, besides the blood all over the room. Nothing
moved. Nothing appeared to pop out and does something out of
the ordinary. Perhaps things were a little sharper, but that
was all.
Keir held me for a few minutes. He had taken a cloth to my
face to remove what blood he could. I had a feeling he would
watch over me and protect me. I clinched onto his pant leg as I
slowed my heart beat and tried to figure out my place in this
new universe. Keir said nothing to me. I think I felt him more
keenly than I had a few minutes before, but it was hard to tell.
I did "feel" more aware of others. It was like moving a finger
over a topographical map. I could tell the differences in
distance and individuality of those around me. Who was strong
and who was weak, happy and sad. Yet I couldn't tell who was
who or individual thoughts. I did feel something close, a
sadness. I wasn't able to explore it as a presence stronger
than any other invaded my mind.
Again I couldn't place it. I didn't know who it was. It was
neither Keir, nor Bram. This presence didn't seek anything of
me. Like Keir, it wished to force something into me. This was
knowledge and I drank it as willingly as I drank the blood.
Knowledge that the blood in my veins not only opened up
opportunities to me but imposed certain responsibilities upon
me. I was inundated with rules many of which I already knew;
such as no unsanctioned killing.
There was no magic here. I could no more cast a spell to make
me into a bat, than I could to make myself human again. This is
a physical, scientific world, the only reason I would live to be
several hundred years old is the virus I just drank in clung
itself to my DNA and changed my genes. I would heal when cut
only because my white blood cells are altered to do so.
My body began tingling like a foot that had fallen asleep. The
virus was finishing its work. Fast little bugger isn't it? I
took deep breaths trying to calm myself. Meanwhile, the
onslaught of voices grew more like the sounds of the ocean
during a hurricane as the earth rumbled, thunder struck and a
tornado whirled around me.
I tried to make sense of it all. I was spinning out of control
in body and mind. It was more than I ever could imagine. I saw
through the eyes of people and I felt their emotions. Augustine
moved his pawn one space as Ida watched. I didn't just see this
happening. I felt Augustine's smugness as he anticipated what
Ida would do. Alternately I felt Ida's hope that with that move
she could take his pawn and move into a more offensive position.
Augustine anticipated that and he would pin her rook if she
did. Ida reached out and I felt the cold marble piece slide
under her fingers and the weight of it as she lifted it, I heard
the thud as it was placed down again.
At the same time I realized there was food in my mouth, the
warmth and sweetness of the cherry pie made my stomach growl.
"There's really no reason to get upset." Gary said and I
through him I saw he spoke with Lacey, who was eating the pie.
She was in fact, not upset, but that wasn't his meaning. "They
just don't need you helping out is all."
Lacey became a little depressed. "I know. It'll just be the
first one I've missed."
Sadness, Al was depressed too. I wanted to hug him. He stood
waiting in a hall. He didn't even know why he waited other than
to serve. He felt a great heaviness and leaned onto the wall.
Gary reached a hand over to Lacey's consoling hers and her
depression whisked away with the chills she felt with his touch.
Before I could analyze any of it, I felt hot breath on my neck
and a body rubbing against me. Bram! At first I thought he was
making love to someone then I felt his hunger, and anger. He
pushed me away. He didn't want me to experience him drinking
from another.
I experienced these things all at once.
Not all the thoughts I endured were external. My brain had
taken on a whole new capacity that I never knew possible. An
hour before I could hardly remember the names of most of the
people in the slave court. Now I could remember each name of
the children that were in my Kindergarten class as well as
everyone whom I had met since then.
I swallowed but my mouth was so dry not even saliva slipped
down my throat.
I shivered slightly realizing what lay in my future and why
Bram drove it from my mind.
Keir turned my face towards his and I watched his lips move.
Oh yes I was aware of my own surroundings at the same time plus
many other views of rooms and thoughts. "How..."
"No!" Ida lost the game and felt hurt that she hadn't been
able to stop him. Then I turned giddy as I... I mean Brenda
chased Raoul around his room. I found it hard to separate
myself from the person I was connected to.
"How do you remain an individual?" I heard myself say it
though I was doing pushups and drinking wine at the same time.
A wall appeared before me. It wasn't enough to keep everything
out but I got the idea. The wall Bram had taught me to build
wasn't just protection from invaders it also contained my own
consciousness in one location. To keep it up seemed like a
great task in the face of the onslaught. I closed my eyes and
slowly imagined the bubble forming around me. I could still
hear the voices only the volume was turned way down low. I
still felt I was in ten places at once, at least one of those
places was here in Keir's room. The pain Keir's blood caused
subsided too and eventually I was able to sit.
I looked to Keir and he smiled. His lips were still moving but
it was more as if I heard him talking in another room. "Yes,
you can feel it can't you? The power. You are aware of
everything around you, and everything inside you. Amazing isn't
it?"
"Yes." I stared at my hand as I felt the blood flow around the
fingertips to the nerves. I rubbed my forefinger against the
rough material of the couch I sat on. The fibers fired off
impulses in the microscopic nerve endings. I felt those small
electrical jolts running up to my brain. It took less than a
femtosecond for my brain to register the feeling. It amazed me
how I felt everything all at once, every sensation that happened
in such a small amount of time. Time didn't seem to move any
slower. It moved along normally. I was just more aware of
every second.
I had become used to communicating with Bram through telepathy,
but it was strange now to be in total communication with Keir,
and as I reached out further I could feel others. Only Keir was
distinct through the wall. I knew I would have to work on
focusing this ability to pick others out of the storm of
thoughts that invaded my brain. There was one other though now
that I looked a little harder. A sadness, so great that I
couldn't believe I had missed it. I knew without a doubt it was
Bram. He pushed me away again, not as hard this time.
Keir's anger rose and I felt heat emanating from his body as I
thought about Bram and tried, just a little, to contact him. Of
course it was no use, Bram still blocked me and Keir did as
well. I figured I'd have time enough with Bram so I should
placate Keir now. I leaned back resting against Keir's inner
arm. I had a lot to adjust to anyway.
I still felt woozy so I didn't dare stand. My headache didn't
go away either. I rubbed my eyes. That didn't help. Keir
rubbed my shoulder and it amazed me how good that felt. My
muscles had grown so tight in the last few moments that even
with his prodding I couldn't relax them. It's just the
sensation of his hand rubbing my nerves was incredible.
Mistress Kama was right when she told me the blood did enhance
senses.
Still this only held my attention for a short moment. I
finally realized what was giving me my headache as my stomach
rumbled like a lion's roar.
I felt the hunger. Not the starvation that I tried to kill
myself with, but hunger greater than I could have imagined, even
after all the movies I had seen and heard about that hunger. It
grew not from my belly. It came from my heart. I felt the
desire for blood. It wasn't because I knew of the vampire's
need of blood, but because my heart pounded, thumped louder than
I've ever heard it. I felt every contraction pushing the new
vampire blood through each valve, through the veins and
capillaries. It flowed giving vital fluids to my muscles that
felt stronger than ever.
"You're hungry." His voice rumbled inside my head though he
didn't speak a word. He moved to open the door.
Imagine my horror when Al Kimble limped in using his cane for
support. He must have been waiting just outside. For how long?
I remembered the moment I felt him and his sadness. Had he
known what was happening inside this room? Yes. Al looked away
as I felt the truth inside him.
He looked to Keir who gestured over to me, "Serve her." He
said aloud.
Al looked to me a question in his eyes. I heard it in his
mind. "Serve her?"
I lowered my eyes from his now, ashamed for I have betrayed
him. Him and myself. I allowed myself to become that which
I've hated and had tried to escape. I gave in. I thought at
one time to give in would be cowardice, and suicide was bravery.
At some point my views had changed and suicide was cowardice.
After seeing the look in his eyes, I began to reevaluate that
decision. "Al, I'm..."
He held up a hand. "I know, and I understand." His mind then
spoke to me. "It's your destiny, we both know that." He gave
me absolution with that small thought.
"Thank you." He knew what was to come next and so he knelt
down before me. This old man who had taken me in and been like
a father to me for the past five years now knelt before me as a
slave to his master. I wanted to send him away and spend the
rest of the night crying. I knew that wasn't to be.
It wasn't supposed to be me. It was supposed to be Bram who
took his life from him. I couldn't, not Al he's my friend, my
father. I love him. Bram was stronger than I. He could do
this not me. I tried again to futilely contact Bram.
Al waited patiently. I couldn't make him wait. I didn't want
to torture him in this way. He accepted his fate and so should
I.
For the first time I smelt it, the smell Keir had mentioned
upon our first meeting; the scent of new blood. I didn't
believe it. My hunger had grown more intense. I leaned closer
to Al. I smelt his sweat. I saw his eyes dilate. I could even
hear his heart pounding. The rest of the world had disappeared
and finally I focused on one thing. After all only one thing
mattered. At that moment my hunger reached its climax and I
was aware of a new sensation. This one originating in my mouth
my upper and lower cuspids that were sharp before I became a
vampire now extended pushing against each other growing
approximately an eighth of an inch. My lips curled back and I
felt the very strong urge to sink my new fangs into Al's
wrinkled neck. Yet I hesitated. I was no vampire. There's no
such things as vampires. I was human, tricked into believing I
had become one.
"You are a vampire have no doubt about that." Keir had taken a
step forward forcing the thought into my head. He had been
inside my mind and I had been too preoccupied to notice it.
"Drink from him and feel what it is truly like to have power; to
BE a vampire."
It could have been a trick to try to persuade me to do
something I knew was wrong. Though I knew he was telling the
truth, I felt that just as I felt the blood running through me.
Then I heard another voice one I hadn't expected as I was
unconsciously still probing Al's mind. "Help me escape Kiddo.
Set me free."
It was his plea that did it. Instinct alone directed my teeth
down to his neck. I felt the first prick of his skin on my
upper fangs. They pierced his skin like daggers. I felt a pain
in my own neck and it took me an instant to realize I still felt
what he felt.
Unfortunately for Al, I was inexperienced at this. I had
missed the vein. I only knew this because as I tried to suck I
only received a little blood. What hardly amounted to a
pinprick. My lips rubbed against his flaky dry skin trying to
coax more out to no avail.
I hated to do this to him. I had no other choice I already
committed to this. I lifted my head and saw the thin blue line
pressed up against his pale skin. At least I knew where it was.
I concentrated on it and opened my mouth again. With pinpoint
accuracy I ripped into the jugular. My lower fangs also took
hold of his neck to keep him from moving. The first drips of
blood touched my tongue.
This didn't taste like Keir's blood. It had the metallic tinge
to it and maybe it was his skin giving it a salty taste, no
matter it tasted good. Al's did not burn. It was like ice cold
lemonade on a hot day, just the right refreshing taste that you
long for and not only is sweet but refreshing and hits the spot.
Here I was crawling in a desert gasping for anything to quench
my thirst. Al was my savior.
Al wanted to cry, or maybe that was me. I couldn't tell
anymore. I felt strength ebbing from me and at the same time I
felt healthier than ever. Even as Al's blood pumped through my
heart I knew he was loosing the fight within himself to keep an
appearance of acceptance. In his mind he began to fight me, to
push back. I allowed him to win that fight as his walls built
up between us. The blood was not blocked. He began fighting
externally. He knew death was close and he feebly squirmed. I
placed a hand on each shoulder to hold him in place, not too
hard. I didn't want to fight him but I wanted his blood. I
needed his blood. I was still hungry, even with as much as I
had taken as well as what Keir had given me.
Vaguely Al's wall diminished fading into nothingness. He
stopped struggling. The last thing he was aware of was his
gratefulness. He was free at last. His cane fell from his hand
with a thin metallic sound it hit the ground. I realized he was
unconscious. Still I wouldn't stop.
I drank in as much as I could forcing every drop out. My heart
started pounding and it became hard for me to breathe. I felt
fear, love, hatred and fear again, fear of death. It was upon
me and I wanted to scream. I had no voice so I contracted all
of my muscles. This made it harder for the blood to flow. It
still flowed and the heart pumped it and as I felt death I felt
so much more.
I was me and yet I wasn't me. I really hadn't a clue how to
feel. It was the strangest thing I've ever felt. I had seeming
to be knowledge I don't remember having before. It was
knowledge of activities, information about vampires and slaves
with which I was unfamiliar. Knowledge that I shouldn't know.
I knew I was in the wrong place. I felt as if my skin was
crawling and it just didn't fit right. Nothing was right.
Everything was turned upside down. The world spun and I felt
nauseous. I reached out with hands that weren't mine and
grabbed on air.
I heard a car door slam. I blinked and found a young brunette
in the seat next to me chatting away as trees zoomed by behind.
Then Missy Julius smiled at me with bloody lips and Keir fell to
the ground with a huge stick in his chest.
Damn, the Doc was right. The blood didn't cure my insanity. I
tried to focus on the room again, just so I didn't keep
hallucinating. Back to reality I found the blood had stopped.
Nothing more left his vein. I sucked I prodded with my tongue,
even my fingers. Al had nothing more to give. Slowly I peeled
my lips away from his neck. I looked upon my handy-work and
gasped. Al was completely grey. His eyes bulged from his
sockets staring at nothing. Without thinking my hands twitched
away and Al's body crumpled to the floor with a light thump next
to his cane. "Oh my God!" I turned away from the sight.
Keir was there and he wrapped his arms around me. I buried
myself in him. I couldn't believe what I had done. I mean not
that I had become a vampire and drank from my dearest friend. I
had consciously killed a man. The part that horrified me the
most is I would do it again.
I physically I felt better now. There was no more pain. Heck,
I felt as if I could leap tall buildings. Emotionally I died
with Al.
"You understand now."
Keir! The bastard had just stood by and let me kill him. No,
he wanted me to kill him. I tried to push away. Keir, still
stronger than I, held me tight.
"Look at him." He turned me a little I didn't want to look.
He didn't force me, yet I knew I should. "You did not murder
this man. He gave his life to you so that you may live. It is
survival."
I understood and I would have taken more if he had any to give.
It's just this was not how I wanted to remember Al. His face
appeared contorted, his lips forming the scream that never came
out. I wanted to remember him with rosy cheeks and laughter.
It's not honoring his memory- "It's okay Kiddo." I swear I
heard Al. I dared not look around. I stared at the body
expecting his mouth to move. Instead I felt a gloom that didn't
quite seem to come from me, and acceptance. Somehow I knew Al
wasn't mad at me and that he wanted me to touch the body.
Keir let me go, knowing more than I, what was going on. I
knelt down and felt the cold, flaky wrist. I picked up his hand
that limply fell into mine. Never more would it grasp my hand
and give me comfort. Never more would I walk around or lie with
Missy.
Wait, what? I dug into Al's pant pocket, and somehow I knew
what I'd find there. I pulled out a thin, slick, and slightly
crumpled piece of photo paper. I remembered looking at it in
the hallway just before... No, not me; Al, he was the one in
the hall. I turned it over to see the face of a young woman, no
more than 18, brown hair, blue eyes and the biggest crooked,
brace filled grin you'd ever see. It was the face I saw in the
car. Al had never shown me the picture or described her to me,
but I knew it was his daughter Nikki.
I couldn't stop myself. I cried. I thought... I thought...
No, Al thought he'd be with her, his daughter. That once he
died he'd be lifted up to heaven and see his daughter again.
That wasn't how it is. He's still here, still looking at the
picture of his daughter holding it in my hand.
My hands shook as I realized what I had done. This is more
horrible that killing a man. Yes, this was not what either of
us wanted. I hadn't set him free. He was trapped here...
Within me! I held the picture to my breast. His daughter had
been drained too. She was trapped within Dillian.
Keir placed a hand on my shoulder. He knelt down beside me and
released my grip from Al's hand. I hadn't even realized I was
still holding it. "It's shocking at first, I know. It can even
be a little addictive; the rush of other's memories and
feelings."
I looked to him, with new compassion. What must it have been
like for him to feel his own son within him for the first time?
It must have been especially hard with no one around to tell him
what was happening. Is this also the reason Bram enjoyed
killing so much? Was he addicted to the sensation of living
another person's life? Why would someone wish to inundate
themselves so?
"It will subside in time." Keir spoke. Obviously he didn't
want to touch on what I was most curious about. "They are like
your own experiences, eventually they become a part of you,
indistinct from the rest."
This didn't seem right. I could pull out any memory from mine
and Al's past with a thought. They were clear and vibrant as if
they happened just now. I did understand what he said. Before
his blood was forced through my brain, my memories were all
distorted and indistinct. Perhaps, with time they would become
that way again. I doubted it and of course now I know, that
would never happen.
As I knelt there in the afterglow of the new sensations I
thought of Al's words again. "Set me free." He begged. The
foul tasting words sat there in a lump at the back of my throat
just like the metallic taste of his blood that coated it. I had
uttered those words hundreds of times before and no one acted on
them. I wondered now that I was a vampire who exactly would or
even could ever set me free.
I felt bad, for I knew now that Kama had been more merciful to
Lowell than I could ever be to anyone. "Set me free." Al had
said and I thinking it would help did the opposite. In taking
Al's life I took with it his soul.
Lowell truly was free. No one had drained him completely. He
had died on his own. I would make it a point to apologize to
Kama for thinking her a monster. Who was more that monster now?
I had just killed a man I loved as a father and still wouldn't
let him go. And worse, I enjoyed it.
By: Christine Schnell
