Chapter 4
I wanted to write a eulogy for Al as something for others to
remember him by. They wouldn't exactly be having a funeral for
him, but I felt the need to let people know how great he was.
Sadly, I knew this wasn't the time or place for it. Besides,
Kenneth was approaching and I had to show him my happy face.
"Hey, Toni, you okay." He didn't know. How couldn't he? He
had been with Kama all night and I knew she knew what was going
on. Why hadn't she told him? Did she know I would encounter
him now?
"Kenneth." I opened the door and hid the paper with my body.
I didn't want him to find out that way. "Come inside won't you.
We need to talk."
He followed me inside and I closed the door. I leaned on it as
I gestured him to sit in the chair. I definitely wanted him off
his feet after his exhibition when he learned he was a prisoner
of vampires. "What's up?"
I bent my head and said. "There's no good way to tell you
this. So I'm just going to blurt it out. Please don't spaz on
me. Okay?"
"Yeah, sure." Kenneth's a smart guy, he had an inkling of what
I was about to say.
"Keir made me a vampire last night. I then drank from Al and
killed him."
His heart rate increased tenfold. Hey, even when you know bad
news is coming it doesn't change how you feel about it. "You!
You killed Al?! I- I thought you-"
"Yes, Al and I were close. At the time I thought I was helping
him, he didn't want to be a slave any longer."
"What the hell is wrong with you? Al deserved a better death
then that."
I sighed, this wasn't as bad as I thought, but I still had to
deal with it. "I know. I thought it was better than if Keir
killed him." He seemed to agree with that. "There really isn't
a good way for anyone to die is there?" He didn't answer.
"Look, what's past is past, the reason I asked you in here-."
"Yeah, but how did you not help him?"
At least he pays attention well. "I can't go into that. Just
understand, I did what he and I thought was right at the time.
Now I want to do something for you." His curiosity peeked at
this. "All this is now yours." I waved my arms about. The
room had changed much since it last passed hands from vampire to
slave. Before, it was a mess with boxes, circuits, and computer
equipment strewn everywhere. Now the monitors lined the wall in
an orderly fashion, and only a few keyboards are needed to
access any of the dozen computers around the room. There were
now shelves where the rest of the stuff was stacked neatly and
out of the way. I was proud of the work I had done here. If I
had done anything for the vampires at all as a slave I certainly
managed to organize some things. This time the hand-off went
much smoother. "Ken my boy, you are now the lead engineer
around here. Take care of my babies won't you."
"No, prob." Despite his words he was a bit uncertain. Even
with still being overwhelmed by all the other voices, Kenneth's
always been a bit clear minded and it was easy to discern his
from the others. He still couldn't believe what I had done. He
also had other concerns that I addressed.
"Don't worry. I know it seems like the job is cursed but I
don't think anyone's got plans to make you into a vampire."
"Kama probably wouldn't mind, you know what I mean." He said
with a coy smile.
"Yeah."
He saw how unenthused I was and wanted to do something about
it. "Hey, don't you worry about us okay. You've got your own
problems, you know. I can handle this. It's cool."
Still he was nervous about the implications, and just a little
ill at ease with being locked in this room with me. "It's all
right. I'm not gonna bite you." I opened up the door and began
to exit. "Do me a favor huh."
"Yeah, sure."
"Tell Lacey I'm sorry." I closed the door behind me. That was
the closest I wanted to allow myself to get to a slave again. I
just couldn't handle hurting my friends anymore.
***
I felt free of my obligations at the moment and I could take
time for myself. Not that I could have a moment of peace.
Kenneth's agitation stuck with me and the voices of a hundred
slaves echoed down the corridor I ran.
Bram leaned in his doorway waiting for me to reach him. I
slammed into him squeezing him as hard as I could. I needed
something solid to keep me upright. He knew what I wanted and
took me in his arms leading me inside his room.
"I'm a horrible person." I mumbled into him. He didn't let me
go. He never wanted to let me go and I didn't want him to
either. "I've killed my friend. Al was like my father. Then I
snapped at Lacey and turned the Doc against me and cursed
Kenneth. I don't deserve to live."
"Of course you do. You've done nothing that can't be forgiven."
"What part of 'I killed Al' don't you understand?" He was warm
and patient and knew I wasn't upset with him. "Don't you
understand?" The words just kept coming. "I've done something
that can't be forgiven. I KILLED Al!"
"Slow down okay. I understand what you're going through. Just
relax a little take a deep breath." He said this as he set me
down. He placed a glass of some putrid smelling liquid into my
hand. "Drink." I stared at the glass. It looked like whiskey.
His mind told me it was whiskey. It sure didn't smell like
whiskey. "You're smelling the tannin. It comes from the wood.
You'll taste it too. It takes a little adjusting to become used
to it."
I took a small sip. It wasn't at all what I expected it to
taste like. Yeah it had a bit of the taste I remember, but this
was more bitter and I certainly tasted the barley in it, much
more than before. I wondered if he had opened a different
brand. Then I remembered my vampire senses were at fault. I
wasn't particularly fond of the taste. Then again the first
time I tasted whiskey I wasn't fond of it either. I've never
drunk whiskey for the taste of it. I took another swig. The
scent of fruit filtered into my nose and just a touch of vanilla
lay on my tongue. Maybe this wasn't that bad after all. After
a couple more I relaxed sufficiently. Now I could talk without
sounding like a complete idiot. Well, except for the slurring.
Strange, one glass never did that to me before.
There was also another unfortunate effect.
"What were you doing hanging upside-down?" Doc Wendel's
annoyance took front and center in my mind. He didn't really
want to know the answer nor did I. Unfortunately, Brandy's mind
was as open to me as the Doc's and so I cringed when she
remembered thinking it would help the blood flow when Jerib
drank from her.
At the same time Lacey and Kenneth were deep into a
conversation about me. Lacey took no offense at my words,
though she was sad for Al and me. Kenneth wasn't very sure what
to feel. Elation at me thinking he was the best to replace me
or fear for his own future or anger over what I had done. They
both thought about speaking to Gary about the new situation.
Gary was feeling rather pleased with himself. He was again top
dog around the slaves and even felt he might be able to
tyrannize me now that Keir was my genitor. He must think that
because I'm indebted to Keir I had to do anything Gary wanted.
He began to fantasize about me waiting on him hand and foot as
Keir supervised.
I didn't want to see anymore. I held my head, "Go away
pleasssse." I took a larger swig to try to rid myself of them.
"You want to know a trick to getting rid of the voices?"
"Yess, please save me." I gripped onto him because he was
moving around quite a bit and making me dizzy.
"Ignore them."
"What!?"
"Simply don't think about them."
"You sir are insane."
"No really, the only reason you're hearing them is you expect
to hear them. Therefore, you're opening yourself up to them.
If you don't think about thinking about them you'll close off
that path. Then when you want to think about a specific person,
you only think about thinking about that one person."
"You are insane, that didn't make any sense at all."
"That's because you're drunk."
"Noooo, I don't think ssoo." I played with his shirt collar.
"I think you only want me to think about one thing."
"What's that?"
"You."
"Well, that would be welcome, and it would probably help too."
He kissed my forehead.
"Kiss me as if you mean it." He did and all the voices went
away.
He pulled away and said. "Okay, are you relaxed?"
"Enough to fall assshleep." I said half closing my eyes and
trying to pull him in again for another kiss.
He laughed softly and said, "I don't want you that relaxed.
Keep your back straight. Take deep breaths."
I inhaled held it for a moment then exhaled
"Close your eyes and picture a rolling green hills, birds
chirping-"
"I thought you didn't want me to fall asssleep?" I knew he was
trying to get me to meditate. I just have a bit of natural
resistance to it. I took another drink hoping it would help.
I did as he suggested and tried hard to ignore the rest of the
world. "Concentrate on your breathing, in and out through your
nostrils." Why do I even need to breathe? Vampires don't need
to breathe do they? His mind answered my question quickly with
a vision of him drowning, going unconscious and waking up alive
floating on the ocean a little while later. It seemed very
painful. He pushed the thought away to try to clear both our
minds. "Breathe in. Breathe out."
O Allah, forgive and have mercy on him. Grant him ease and
respite. Make his resting place a noble one, and facilitate his
entry. It embarrassed me to be overhearing Ali thoughts as he
prayed and yet it fascinated me as I'd never experienced such
faithful devotion. I most certainly had never any type of
prayer from the Islamic religion. Cleanse him with water, snow
and coolness, and purify him of wrong doings as a white cloth is
purified... Unfortunately, Ali's thoughts dissolved before I
could hear the rest.
I continued to breathe and attempt to clear my mind.
I looked up to see Mistress Kama leaning over me. Something
bright was in her hand. Kama dripped melted wax upon smooth
brown skin. The expected stinging from the hot wax never came.
I felt no anticipation nor any sensation related to it at all.
I watched the small bit of smoke leave the flame of the candle.
The light began to fade with it.
Slowly the world disappeared and only my wheezing was audible
to me. Wheezing that reminded me of old men and old men
reminded me of Al. Al was being very quiet during all this. Of
course as Bram said, think about something specific and it will
be the focus of my thoughts, or something like that. Just now a
memory of Al getting drunk with Bram, laughing and having a good
time made me incredibly depressed.
"I caan't beelieve I killed Al..." I took another swig and
finished the glass. Bram gently removed it from my hand. "Ish
couldn' even sssshtop ifs I wanted to. I'm no good at thissss
vampire ssstuff."
"When was the last time you fed."
I shrugged. There's only been one time I've fed and he could
see that plainly in my thoughts. He held my face. He showed
concerned for me, how sweet. Ahh, he was sending for a slave to
come and feed me. I didn't even know how to do that. I tried
following his thoughts to whom he contacted but he'd already
disconnected. He knew though and I saw Virginia in his mind.
So that's it, you just pick out Virginia from all the voices and
say hey, can I have a slave, and ta-da, one walks right up to
your door? He nodded, knowingly. I rolled my eyes at him and
he kissed me.
Mmmmmmm... I really can't explain it. Take my first kiss with
him where I knew everything was just perfect and amplify it by
about ten thousand. I fell in love all over again.
That wasn't all. I had a sudden urge to tear his clothes off.
He stopped my hand as it reached to unbutton his shirt and
slowly pulled away from the kiss. "You ma'am are drunk."
"I'm notsh drunk, only buzzified."
"Right."
"Isha can't be drunk. Isha only had one drinky." I reached
for his buttons and he swiftly moved my hands away.
"You're low on blood so you get drunk easier. I won't take
advantage of you like this." He removed my hands again and held
them back against the couch. This brought him closer to me so I
started kissing his neck.
"I usshed to have five or eight before got drunk."
"Well, not anymore." He said softly.
"Besidesss," I said lustfully reaching for his buttons again,
"that hassn't sshtopped you before." He leaned in now and
kissed me.
There was a knock at the door and the predominant thought was a
bit of amorous anxiousness on the part of the slave waiting for
Bram to open the door. Bram patted my head, obviously not
wanting me to get up in case I hurt myself.
Dave's heart lifted when Bram opened the door and he fingered
Bram's unbuttoned collar softly saying, "You wanted to see me."
I felt a chill inside me as I saw the unsavory things he was
thinking and became more jealous than I can remember ever being
before. "Get 'chor filtty, slimery handsss off 'im!" I tried
to stand but found the room swaying a bit so I let myself fall
back into the couch.
Bram enjoyed the situation immensely as his thoughts spoke of
wanting to draw the moment out to make me more jealous.
Dave wouldn't cooperate though. His hands dropped from Bram.
At the sound of my voice Dave was knocked for a loop and now
wanted to run. He suddenly had become afraid. He knew I had
killed Al recently and now he wondered if he was here for the
same purpose.
"It's okay." Bram reassured him and even used a little push in
the mind to get the guy to relax a little. He took Dave's hand
and led him into the room. "I can't say she won't bite, but
I'll make sure she doesn't hurt you."
Dave laughed nervously. He didn't really find it amusing he
just didn't know what else to do.
He should be scared. I mean really, I killed a man that was
like a father to me, he's nothing to me so it should be even
easier for me to kill him. Why did I kill Al? Wasn't Bram
supposed to kill Al? I looked at Bram. He had heard my
question.
He replied in his mind. We were misled. It wasn't the first
time and it most certainly wouldn't be the last that we were.
Don't worry about that now. You won't kill him.
I curled up on the couch. I didn't want to touch him. I just
wanted to sleep.
Bram knelt down so that he could look me in the face. You need
to feed. Come on honey sit up.
His lips didn't move. Neither did Dave's as he thought hard
about making a break for the door.
Bram helped me as I reluctantly sat up. Bram then ushered the
man half his size over to the couch who equally was hesitant to
sit.
Dave finally offered his arm to me. Now it was my turn to
hesitate. Keir had said that he would be with me the next time
I fed. Why wasn't Keir here? Didn't he care? Was I supposed
to feed without him? He was supposed to be here. For some
strange reason I really wanted Keir to be present. I felt
anxious without him around. I tried reaching out for him, to
see if he would be mad at me for this.
I got nothing but static from people around the building, but I
couldn't pinpoint Keir.
"It's okay he's already given me permission to look after you."
Bram said aloud.
"What ifs he getsssh mad? He'll hurt chou and me."
Bram laughed. "When had you ever seen him best me?" He was
right. I'd never seen Keir win a fight with him.
"Who? What's wrong?" Dave asked feeling left out of the loop.
"Nothing." Bram took his arm and presented it to me again.
"It's okay. Toni, go ahead."
I had no reason to hesitate any longer. I still did. I wasn't
a vampire. Vampires were cruel, heartless beings (present
company excluded). I couldn't hurt anyone, not willingly. I
didn't want to hurt Dave. He was an innocent here.
I couldn't do this. To bite through his skin made my stomach
turn. Logically I knew I needed to I just couldn't bring myself
to do it. I tried to trick my mind into seeing his blood and
wanting it, or create some sort of want in me.
Dave and Bram exchanged curious looks as I just sat there
staring at his arm trying to force myself to do what should come
naturally. Finally Bram took hold Dave's wrist and bit into it.
He didn't drink but allowed the blood to drip from the wound.
It hit my nostrils first. I still wasn't hungry for it, not
like I was with Al. What I did feel and hunger for was Dave's
fear. Bram had surprised him when he bit him so hard and now he
struggled slightly against Bram's grip. He watched me
anxiously, wondering what I would do next.
My heart beat faster, just as Dave's did and I felt almost as
if I had just ate a ton of sugar. Finally, after feeling the
need for more, I took his arm. Faltering I licked the blood
running down it. That was enough to kick off something inside
me. I bit down on top of Bram's bite and began sucking at the
wound.
I pulled the blood from him. It caught him off guard and he
tried to jerk away. She's a blood thirsty monster! She doesn't
know how to stop! Dave had these thoughts and more. He was
afraid he'd never see the light of day again. I didn't want to
kill him. I couldn't tell him though.
The blood cleared my head and yet made me more euphoric than
before. The blood poured through my arteries causing a tingling
sensation like when your foot falls asleep but all over my body.
The difference is this made me feel strong. More so, I felt
powerful. I had control over Dave. I could make him more
afraid or happy if I chose to do so. His fear though enthralled
me, he wanted to run or fight me off. I wouldn't allow him to
do either and so he tensed fearfully of what I might do next.
So this is what they found so addictive. Yes, I knew it and I
didn't care. Addictions hardly ever happen by choice.
Don't lose yourself in it. Bram warned from far away. I knew
he felt what I did. He hungered for it just as I did. It was
the tug on Dave's soul that we wanted and had me so wound up.
Bram knew better than I. He didn't want it to stop, yet he
knew he had to end it. He had promised me he would. He would
not kill and wouldn't allow me to either. Bram nudged my mind
telling me to stop. I didn't want to. It tasted so good and
quenched my roaring belly. It was all I wanted. I didn't even
want Bram in that moment. To drink, to feel the elation, to
learn from Dave all he had to offer.
Bram lifted my head gently from Dave's arm. "That's enough."
He said aloud for both of us to hear. Dave deflated at that
realization that he was still alive. I couldn't look at him.
Suddenly the shame filled every empty spot the exhilaration
left. It's okay. He's not hurt. Bram knew it wouldn't help
but he hugged me anyway.
Bram then went over to Dave. "How are you?"
"I'm dizzy."
Bram tenderly put an arm around Dave's shoulders and helped him
to his wobbly feet. "Why don't you lie down for a little
while?" Bram led him to his bed and Dave almost instantly fell
into a deep slumber. Bram then returned to my side.
I had a tear falling and was fighting back more. He sat beside
me and enveloped me in his arms. "Go ahead and cry. I
understand."
"I almost killed him."
"No. No, you didn't. He'll be fine. We'll send him off to
the infirmary when he wakes up. You weren't after his soul. It
was his fear that fueled your yearning. That's the addictive
feeling you felt.
"You only took a little over three sextari." At my confusion
his mind translated for me so that I knew sextari is the Latin
for pint. "You can still take more without killing him but you
must learn how much you can. The only way to do this is from
experience. If you start reliving their memories, you know
you've taken too much. All of us could handle the 10 pints that
are in an average human. Most don't take that much as they
either they get full or it's a bit like guzzling that much water
at once, you have to take a break. However, a human will die
after taking more than five pints. It becomes harder to drink
the rest when the heart's not pumping."
"How can I tell before it's too late? I only felt him. I
didn't care how much I took."
"You can't easily measure how much you take. Everyone's heart
pumps blood at different rates under different circumstances, so
you can not count the seconds. You can not tell by how much it
fills you up as you may be hungrier from one day to the next.
He may have just fed another and you can not count on how much
blood he may have left. You can't exactly take a measuring cup
to it. You simply must learn to adjust to the individual and
trust to how it feels. After a dozen feedings, I guarantee
you'll get the hang of it."
A dozen? Heck I could figure out now how not to take too much.
The problem was the willingness to stop. Bram understood this.
He knew the solution too.
"Take two sextari," he stopped to correct himself, "pints at
first, you'll be hungry more often but you'll get better at
handling the hunger."
"And if I don't?"
"You will. You've always been able to adapt. This will be no
different. It will become second nature to you."
"And if I turn out... like you..." I didn't want to say it but
since I thought it he knew, hell he knew without me thinking
about it.
"It's not a path you wouldn't be able to return from." He was
trying so hard not to kill anymore. Just a little while ago he
wanted to finish Dave off but fought the urge. He's so strong.
I didn't think I could be that strong. "Oh, you're strong. You
have Keir's blood in you."
"Don't remind me." I slunk onto his chest. "I don't wanna go
back to him."
"He's your genitor. You'll feel drawn to him eventually.
You've already felt it once. You won't want to be without him
for long." Bram was right. Already at the mention of his name
I was yearning to see him. I didn't want to be with him. I
just wanted to know he was still around. Kind of like when
you're a kid and you sneak out to check that your parents are
still there. You hear their voice and you know everything is
okay. Then you can sleep well.
I closed my eyes, breathed and thought about Keir. The
connection came quickly. His guard was down obviously and I
quickly backed out of his mind. I turned red with embarrassment
just as a child would while looking to find his parents watching
TV only to see them conceiving her little brother. Similarly
Keir was in the middle of thrashing about with Faye.
Bram laughed softly now. I smacked him in the chest for
ridiculing my modesty. He found this provocative. "You know we
could pay him back if he decides to check in on you."
"I thought you didn't want to take advantage of me." I teased.
"Besides, he'd only enjoy it."
"So would you." Bram kissed me and pushed me playfully back
onto the couch.
***
I knew full well, that with an empty stomach alcohol goes
straight into the blood stream and being low on blood the ratio
of alcohol to blood would be great and have a larger effect.
Not to mention that vampire blood enhances EVERYTHING.
It amazed me to find that I did not have as high a tolerance to
alcohol as I once had. Just half a glass of champagne would
make me buzzed. Perhaps this is the reason that I have hardly
seen the vampires drink hard liquor. Only a few of them seemed
unfazed by it and they probably had plenty of practice.
Food too had an unusual effect upon me. I become full much
more quickly, and worse it doesn't digest well. I remembered
Bram rushing to the bathroom after he had eaten too much one
day, which in turn brought about a memory of Heremon rushing
back and forth. A smile crossed my lips.
I ate though. Despite all the horrid effects how could I not.
Dear lord, how couldn't I? I loved food as a human and now with
vampire senses a rainbow of taste exploded in my mouth. It
seems the blood has a strange effect on the taste buds making
them not quite sensitive, but more potent. As for the alcohol,
I never cared for its taste anyway. Is it any surprise that
something that goes directly into the bloodstream anyway would
become stronger with our blood?
The problem is there is a consequence for everything. You kill
somebody then you have to live with the guilt. If you become a
vampire you have to drink blood. You drink blood you have to
take the good with the bad. The good is everything becomes more
intense. The bad is exactly the same. Just so, horrible
hangovers were the consequence of imbibing in alcohol.
I woke with a dreadful headache. I've had a hangover before
but normally it's just a bit of nausea. I felt more like a
vampire now than I since drinking Keir's blood. Dave had risen
to leave and Bram had turned on the light for him. I hissed and
cried and found the closest thing I could grab to cover my eyes.
Unfortunately, it was my discarded blouse onto which I had
spilled some of my drink. The smell of it nearly made me heave.
I tossed it and whining I grabbed the unbendable throw pillow
that did nothing to hide the light unless I pressed it firmly
against my face and hence I couldn't breathe. I groaned.
Bram kindly turned off the light after the door opened then
closed again. He leaned down over me and began to slide his
hands under me to pick me up. "Don't touch me!" I snapped and
curled into a ball. I clutched the pillow to my belly and
clenched my eyes shut as the room spun.
He did anyway as he moved the hair out of my face. "My poor
lady. I'm afraid we've yet to come up with a cure for
hangovers. Normal pain killers don't work on us either. Blood
treats it as a foreign object."
I think I preferred the constant voices to this feeling. I
felt like I was being squashed in a trash compactor. Not that
the voices had gone away. Since I wasn't feeling well my guard
was down and they were just as bothersome as ever.
Bram stayed by my side while it worked its way through my
system. My blood boiled as it tried to eject the alcohol
molecules. Bram wanted me to exercise it off. I decided to
sleep it off with intervals of ejecting it from my system
through regurgitation.
After several hours and a hundred trips to the bathroom I began
to feel better. I curled up next to Bram as he tried to get
some sleep. My white knight had stood watch over me all night.
I couldn't sleep. My mind was active now and wouldn't shut
off. To make matters worse each time I let my guard down voices
would break into my thoughts making even the simplest thoughts
strange and convoluted. So I'd begin to meditate pushing only
the loudest offenders away. Then I'd start to relax again
creating a roller coaster of sensations and wakefulness.
Nor was it only outside forces causing the rolling and pitching
of my mind. My guilt trip had returned. Guilt made my stomach
churn. No matter what Bram said I still felt out of control and
like a total heel for killing Al and nearly killing Dave. I
tossed and turned for some time causing my own little roller
coaster on the bed and torturing Bram as he futilely tried to
placate me.
No matter what I'd do, even with the meditation, one voice
couldn't be quieted. A man telling his daughter "There's a fine
li'l castle Kiddo." The same voice not two seconds a bit
sterner but still as fatherly; "Set me free." The memory of
Al's last thoughts had me in tears. "Don't ya worry none kiddo.
Pappy'll protect ya." Was that Al talking, or the man from a
dream that sounded like him? Was there more to it? I tried to
dredge out the truth from Al but when I conciously started
thinking about it, it dissapeared.
Why is it if I wanted to think of something I couldn't do it
conciously but if I didn't want to think of something I had to
do it conciously? The brain is certainly a tricky device.
Or maybe I was too tired. I groaned as I flipped to lie on my
back. My eyes would hardly stay open, nor would they close and
stay closed. I groggily tried to stare off into the distance to
zone out and calm my mind. Only thing was I found myself
staring into my own eyes. Eyes that scruitinized me perhaps
they were even a bit accusing. It made me feel completely
inadequate. It's definitely little disconcerting having
yourself look down on you while you're in bed.
The portarit Kama had painted for Bram hung on the wall now
above the bed. "Um, Bram, do you think you can move that
painting across the room or something? She's kind of freaking
me out."
He understood quickly and carfully removed the painting from
the hook on the wall. He set it down on the ground so that the
back was facing outward. No longer would I have to endure my
judgemental stare. I uttered a soft thank you.
Of course this didn't help me sleep. There was another
scruinizing me. Al's voice intruded again. "Don't let your
guard down kiddo. They hide in shadows and so should you."
Half asleep I mumbled, "Too late Al."
"Hmm?" Bram, of course didn't understand.
Then I groggily told him about the dream I had last night after
killing Al. "I dreamt about Al. He was my father. He left.
Keir came in and sired my mother. He called her Sophia, but
that wasn't her name. Then Al came back and saved me from him."
"That's an interesting dream." Bram had a decent poker face
but he couldn't hide his interest when I mentioned Sophia.
"Do you know her? The dream was so real, as if it actually
happened."
"I know of a Sophia that Keir once loved. Al could never have
known her."
"Then was it a dream?"
"What else could it have been?" Bram shrugged.
"You tell me. You know more about this vampire stuff than I
do."
"It could be something more."
"Like what? A memory?" I yawned. "It's all strange. It's as
if I can still hear Al's thoughts sometimes, like I know what he
knew."
"You can. It's in the blood."
"What is? Knowledge? Isn't that in the brain?"
"Yes, but your soul is in your blood." He said.
"I don't understand, how can that be? Even humans?"
"Everyone." He said with a smile.
"That's just the soul. What makes us human? How can I
remember things he knew?"
"This isn't for me to answer." He seemed a little hesitant.
"You should be asking Keir, it's not my place-"
"I could ask Keir, but I figured you're more knowledgeable in
this particular field."
"Toni." He implored.
"Bram." I said back.
"Go ahead. Tell her." Keir said in our heads. So he was
listening to my every thought after all. No, I would never be
free of him.
Bram sighed. "Yes, knowledge is in the brain, it's like with
your hardware it's the hard drive, your heart is the CPU that
controls the blood. The arteries are the circuitry that
connects your brain to your heart and the rest of the body. So
your blood or rather the soul is the electrons that carry the
information from one place to another. This is why we can only
die in two ways that I know."
"Draining of blood drains the soul from the heart and the brain
and transferring it to me." I think I understood. "But how is
the knowledge transferred?"
"Well, it doesn't exactly. Knowledge influences the soul,
makes us who we are. It builds more circuitry so to speak."
"Oh." His soft voice was putting me to sleep.
"So separating the head and heart leaves the blood in the body
to allow the soul to move on."
"Move on to where?"
Bram shrugged.
After a few minutes, as I was on the brink of sleep I asked,
"Bram?"
"Hm?"
"What's the King's name?"
He sleepily propped himself on his elbow. "Strange. I have no
idea. Why do you ask?"
"I don't know. I just feel it's important."
"Maybe after you sleep you'll figure it out."
"Can't sleep." I said barely above a whisper. It wasn't much
longer after that when I did indeed fall asleep.
***
"Come on, getup." Bram patted my thigh.
"What? Why?" I asked groggily. I felt the effects of a
hangover as my head bounced on a trampoline and my stomach
flipped about the trapeze. Maybe I was just hungry.
"We're going to go exercise."
"Noooo." I grumbled and buried my head under some pillows.
"Yes." He slid the blanket off me and I felt the chill of the
air on my bare skin. I didn't mind but I knew what was coming
next. So I clenched the pillow harder to prevent him from
taking it too.
Forget that I didn't feel good, I didn't see the point. "No."
I said more to his thought of running his finger down my spin
than to getting up.
"Come on. It's for your own good."
"Don't wanna."
"We've been in bed for half a day. Your body may not need the
exercise but your mind does. You need to keep active. Besides
it'll help your hangover."
I peeked out of the pillow. "I know plenty of activities we
can do right here."
He lifted his eyebrows flirtatiously. "Oh yeah."
"Um hmm." I wrapped my arm around him pulling him next to me.
"Okay, wrestling it is. If I can wrestle you out of the bed in
three minutes, you go with me, otherwise we stay here."
I already had him half pinned, so why not. "Deal."
Unfortunately, as I said the word I regretted it. He was near
the edge of the bed as it was and he allowed himself to fall out
of it. I saw in his mind what he intended and as he had the
upper hand I grabbed onto the mattress for dear life.
He stood, got both his hands under me and like a steam shovel
picking up a bunch of rocks he scooped me up and half the bed
came with me. He laughed as I dug my nails into the mattress.
"Now, now, you're out of bed. Give it up."
I was only a foot or so above it. After all my hands were
still touching it. "No, it's not fair."
"Yes it is, now be a good girl and let go before you rip my bed
to shreds."
"Fine." I let go and it thumped back onto the springs.
He ran me around the complex, and made me use every bit of gym
equipment. I could easily lift my own weight and jump more rope
than I ever could as a human. We finished with 20 laps around
the pool. I didn't even become winded.
When we finished the workout and headed for the door I caught a
glance of myself in the mirror. How strange I looked. I was no
different from a few days before, and yet there was something
new about me. Maybe it was the flare in my eyes or just a
general bit of healthy glow to the skin.
I'm not sure. Anyway I stood in front of a mirror examining
myself when I noticed them. I lifted my upper lip and flexed my
gums. I watched in fascination as my fangs extended downwards.
"What are you doing?" Bram leaned over my shoulder. I had
felt him watching but had become so engrossed in the vision that
I hadn't noticed him behind me.
"This is so freaky. I can feel them moving in and out."
"Yes. They're like a snake's. They retract until you're ready
to strike"
"I thought snake's fangs folded back."
"They do. It was just a comparison. You've developed a new
muscle that will push them out to make the initial puncture in a
servant's skin. Try it on your arm."
I did. "Ow!" Biting yourself apparently hurt just as much as
others doing it. Bram laughed a little. The point is I did
observe what happened and just like a hole puncher they cut
through my skin like a piece of paper quickly and pulled back.
"Weird. I didn't feel this when I bit Dave."
"It's a fairly unconscious act. Do you think about moving your
hand when you wave hello to someone?"
"No, I guess not."
"Are you kidding? She doesn't think at all." Keir stood in
the doorway all cocky like.
I could have made a snarky comment. I didn't. For some reason
I was a bit humbled by Keir's appearance. Bram put a protective
arm around me.
Keir's appearance made me realized I felt a bit empty without
him around. Perhaps that was why he left me for so long.
"It's time to go." Keir said holding out his hand. I stared
at the proffered hand. I found myself wanting to take it. That
hand that had dealt me so many blows I knew would not do me harm
now. It would be gentle and supportive. I wished to take it.
I just didn't want to let go of the one I already held. I love
Bram. Shockingly there was room in my heart for another. It
was something I hadn't expected out of this. I felt a deep
desire to be with Keir.
"You know I want to stay with you." I held Bram's hand even as
I moved away from him.
"I know. He is your genitor." Bram handed me off to Keir.
"Go with him and feel no guilt." That made me feel better and
when I heard his thoughts I felt relief. Don't worry you'll
grow out of it. I did.
Keir growled softly and I chuckled just a bit. Still I took
his arm and allowed him to lead me back to my room.
By: Christine Schnell
